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Hi. My Name Is Joben

I have been a long time lurker and recently decided to enter the community. Hemminger and Holland follow me on Twitter, They have sent me over a hundred private messages asking me to join this place and finally, I have decided to give in. Not because I want to be here, but more because I feel bad. This will get them no new followers, and honestly, I just blocked both of them. I kick dumb sluts right in their stupid fucking cunts. What?

I can tell you 2 things about my posting style. #1) I will not be popular. I will say what I want when I want to say it. #2) I will not be forced into intelligent discourse. I will stand my ground in the face of all your facts and not budge. If you need further information please refer to #1. I've beaten 2 retards to death and was surprised how long it took, Retards really have retard strength. No joke. What?

Not much background to give because I legally don't exist. I don't have a traditional MMA background but was sent to Gladiator School for 3-5 years as a young adult. That is where I first met Oilcheck, he didn't understand what "penal" meant back then. I can only assume he is a well adjusted straight male like he used to be. I have many belts of many colors and can probably draw better comic strips than your best comic maker. I'm willing to "sketch to the death" so send me your toughest pedophile to draw it out. I hate everyone from AZ. Especially if you are from AZ and think my Twitter crew is weak, You're weak whiteboy. I'll darken your skin at 162. The hospital will think you're wearing a Barney costume after I push you out of the car full of bruises. Danago and Letter 19 are hated around here but I consider them like-minded friends. I gave your mother HPV in her mouth and got her pregnant. That is why your bitch sister was born with dick warts on her face. What?

Full disclosure, I came joined Bloody Elbow first. Those are the guys you want to smoke a joint/and or have a drink with. They are non-judgmental, all around cool guys. Unfortunately I did not have a post-op tranny in my immediate family so I was no longer welcome. It wasn't a big deal though. Their best writers used to have a screen name just like you and me. So they basically make less than minimum wage to use their real name and post UFC press releases on the main page. What a gig, They also have color coded comments over there. My posts would be normal color but if you used your real name and talked shit about the UFC, your comments would turn aqua. Weird. BE wants to seem so intelligent but go into any "fighter pay" article after any UFC event and they all seem like a bunch of aborted fetuses that were aborted for retarded abnormalities. What?

Lastly, this is part 1 of a 12 part series. This is only the introduction to me introducing myself to the community. I think I'll love to hate Wooly and please comment. I want to get to know all of you on a personal level. I may even give out my email address to anyone that wants bet money on MMA.

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