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UFC 159: Drinking Games

Unless you plan on watching Jones vs Sonnen from the privacy of your mother’s basement, where you can jerk off into a tube sock between rounds, I’m sure most of you plan on getting together with some friends at someone’s apartment, a sports bar, a public theater, etc. What I suggest, is pick a venue that serves alchol, print this post, select a designated driver, and make a memorable event all the more enjoyable with some MMA-themed drinking games. Looking at this card, there is a plethora of potential. Let’s examine the line up on the Undercard first:

Undercard:

Erik Perez vs Johnny Bedford

Gian Villante vs Ovince St. Preux

Sara McMann vs Shelia Gaff

Rustam Khabilov vs Yancy Medeiros

Leonard Garcia vs Cody McKenzie

Nick Catone vs James Head

Steven Siler vs Kurt Holobaugh

I’m so giggly and ansy right now, I don’t even know where to begin…. The two that leap out to me are Garcia vs McKenzie and Khabilov vs Medeiros.

Individually, there are some many drinking games that could come out of McKenzie and Garcia’s fights. Square them off against one another, and its an alcholic’s wet dream. Admittedly, I have never hear of Yancy Medeiros, but I plan on exploiting the shit out of Khabilov as blanket excuse to get hammered. Here we go:

Lenny Garcia vs Cody McKenzie:

-Everytime Mike Goldberg mentions Garcia’s "iron chin," you take a shot

-Everytime Joe Rogan talks about Garcia’s "ridiculous power," you take two shots

-If McKenzie shows up to the weigh in with a habdle bar mustache, you and your friends fill six cups with Jack Daniels and play "Whiskey Pong"

-If Garcia taps out to a guillotine, everyone finishes their drink.

-If Garcia taps out to a guillotine and remains employed with the UFC, finish the bottle of Jack

Rustam Khabilov vs Yancy Medeiros

-Each slam/suplex, take a shot

-If Rogan begins discussing the "sudden influx of Russian fighters in the top MMA promotions," you chug your drink until he finishes.

Let’s have a look at the Main Card now:

Jon Jones vs Chael Sonnen

Michael Bisbing vs Alan Belcher

Roy Nelson vs Cheick Kongo

Phil Davis vs Vinny Magalhaes

Jim Miller vs Pat Healy

Phil Davis vs Vinny Magalhaes: (ever done a power hour? If not, Google it now)

-Take a shot of beer, everytime Davis scores a TD

-Take a shot of beer everytime Vinny defends in rubber guard

-Take a shot of beer after each leg kick by either party

-If the fight ends via knockout, finish the entire case of beer, you won’t need it for the rest of the card

-If Magahlaes manages to take Davis down, shotgun two beers

Roy Nelson vs Cheick Kongo:

-Shot of vodka everytime Nelson throws the overhand right

-Shot of whiskey everytime Kongo kicks Nelson in the nuts of pulls his shorts

-If Kong finishes Nelson, everyone goes outside and plays a round of Dizzy-bat

Michael Bisbing vs Alan Belcher:

-Belcher leg kick, take a shot

-Bisbing takedowns: one shot if it’s a single leg, two shots for a double leg

-If the fight ends in the first round, everyone drains their glasses

Jon Jones vs Chael Sonnen

-Takedown by either party, take a shot

-When Rogan begins discussing Jones and the "new breed of MMA fighter" chug your drink until he finishes his sentence

-If Sonnen goes for a spinning backfist, take a shot then spin in a circle x2 (ala Dizzybat)

-If Jones taps out Sonnen, take a shot

-Regardless of how the fight ends, when it does, finish all the alchol remaining on the table. Do not be wasteful.

That’s what I got guys. Any suggestions?




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