Welcome to Hey!Ho!Headlines!
This is a little segment where MMAMania goes off-topic and where i talk about the news. I fucking hate the news. It's depressing for obvious reasons i shouldn't have to explain to anyone who has ever watched the news in recent years.
Why do i want to talk about it? I don't but i'm bored and so are you so let's just do it this and get ready for some of the most intregity-filled investigative journalism of all time. OF ALL TIME!!!
What are we going to talk about? This is a good news, bad news type of deal, let's start with the bad news: The H7N9-birdflu virus.
That's right, the birdflu is back... again... and it's coming for you... sigh.
The toll from a new flu strain is mounting in China. Forty-three people have been sickened and 11 have died from the virus, the World Health Organization said Friday. The pace of infections has quickened over the past few days, with three to five cases reported daily.
I remember back in 2006 every news outlet went apeshit at the prospect of the H5N1 avian flu(or Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 or highly pathogenic avian influenza (HPAI)) virus coming to knock all homo sapiens out even though at that point in time the virus wasn't capable of human to human transfer, but but but.... it could though... like someday... so uh, you know, like,... be afraid, be very afraid. Ugh...
How many birds died because of the H5N1-virus in 2006? 209 million (true story, google it)
How many humans died because of the H5N1-virus in 2006? 80 people across the globe and 165 from the period of 2003 to 2007.
Let's put this in perspective here.
The spanish Influenza (or A-type influenza subtype H1N1) killed between fifty and one hundred million people over approximately twelve months from 1918 to 1919. That virus meant business and had no desire to let it go the distance with a finishing rate 1.5 million times higher than that wimpy-ass H5N1. H1N1 is a KILLER! A KILLER!!! Make no mistake about it.
Let's take a look at the media coverage of the pandemic back in 1918... uh, there was none. Here's a fun fact about how that particular strain got it's name.
This A-type influenza outbreak was then referred to as the Spanish flu, but this was not because the virus was known to originate in Spain. Instead, the name stuck because Spain was the only country in Europe which did not suppress news reports of the thousands of men who died from the flu while fighting in World War I. Other countries felt that the news would be too demoralizing. In other words, millions died; no-one gave a shit.
Fast forward back to 2006. These 80 fatalities mostly occurred in third world countries that most Westerners could care less about. And as soon it was motherfucking obvious that a full-on 1918-styled animal to man or man to man pandemic wouldn't even fart in Western-Europes of America's way, the news reports abruptly stopped and people moved on like nothing happened.
Ok, so what was the point of relentlessly bombarding us with the news that the birdflu boogie-man is coming for us and it will be all over, JUST! LIKE! THAT!... ?
What's that ?
Oseltamivir better known by it's commercial name Tamiflu, is an antiviral drug, which may slow the spread of and treat the influenza A virus and influenza B viruses and is manifactured by Swiss drugmaker Roche Holding AG.
Each flu season Tamiflu-sales spike through the roof and come back down after the flu-season dies down. In 2006 Tamiflu sales went through the roof with a whopping 470% compared to sales in 2005. 470% !!!! ARE ! YOU ! Kiddin me ?
Unfortunately, i don't have the sales chart/pie to back this fact/claim/rumour up. I also can't show you any sources where what i said can be validated. Come to think of it, i can confirm nor deny that i may or may not have competely nor absolutely have made that up (nor down).
What i am getting at is, the reason why news outlet's resort to fearmongering shit like this, is because they strike deals with companies like Roche Holding AG and possibly the government or something conspiracy-ey, tin-foil-hat-esque crackpottery... ish.
The flu season is approaching, we're a manufacturer of anti-flu medicine. Our annual sales figures are ok at best but you know what would be cool ? If totally scared the shit out of everyone into buying our product and make billions..lol. but how ?
The flu season is approaching and we're a major Western news outlet. Apparently people in Turkey and South-East Asia are droppin like fli... well some are dead because of this new type of birdflu that only normally kills poultry. Our ratings aren't what they used to be and people are getting tired of rapes, murders, war, poverty, stabbings, shootings, kidnappings, Fallon Fox, drive by buttcheek pinchings etc... you know what would be cool ? If we scared the shit out of people and say the birdflu is coming to America and keep them updated with footage of dying asians and turks... excuse me for a moment, yeah what ? Who ? Who's Roche Holding AG ? How much ? They're offering how much ? Alright, let's do this, schedule a meeting...
Where i'm going with this, is that everytime i hear something that even remotely sounds like birdflu or pandemic on the news i remind myself of the media craze of 2006 when i was still in high school. I highly doubt anyone remembers what i'm talking about which is actually the cocksucking point up in this bitch right here, boi!!! Maybe the 2009 H1N1 swineflu pandemic is more recent and jogs some of you guys memories.
Everyone went apeshit again, President Obama declared a state of emergency, some caught the virus, some died and all of a sudden everyone stops taking about it and moves on.
Here's a comment i found on some forum from some guy named arunil :
»A friend of mine got swine flu in 2009 and was hospitalized for two weeks.