UFC 158 is coming up in less than two weeks from now and a few weeks after Dana and Co had an expulsion of feces that was ultimately molded into Rousey headlining a PPV against Carmouche, which fortunately was quickly forgotten because of the bangfest witnessed on Saturday between Stann and Silva. Now don't get me wrong, I love the ladies. I mean they rev my engine, but they don't belong in the newsroom! Really I was more pissed about them selecting "Girlrilla" as her opponent, there were just so many better options! Anyway all fights have the potential to bust and end up being, well, very boring (see most of UFC on Fuel 8). The upcoming UFC 158 card is one of those cards that gets me worried when I look at it on paper, no not on my computer screen, I said on paper damn it. Lets get to it..
Main Event GSP vs Diaz - Let's start from the top shall we? This one is just how I like my ladies, simple, real simple. I am about 209% sure that after GSP spends a minute on the feet with Diaz to prove a point that he is no one's bitch, he will treat Diaz like his and slowly wrestlefuck him for the remainder of the fight. Dont expect GSP to get risky because of the decorated ground game of Nick. GSP by sexual eruption.
Co Main Event Hendricks vs Condit - Waterboy...I mean Ares is out and now Bigg Rigg is in route (yeah I did it) for what now looks like a number one contender match up. We all saw Condit get on his huffy and show Lance boy that the shits easy when he went against Diaz, then we saw him mostly flail around under GSP while Pierre was reminiscing the days of Napoleon. Ok Condit got one good head kick in, I will give him that. SO the question is what can we expect this time when he comes up against the actual man with the iron fists? I will tell you! Condit will spend the weekend before in his dads garage tightening the bolts, lubing the chain and airing the tires cause, yes you guessed it, its going to be Tour De France '13 up in Quebec bitches! Condit will work that striking from the outside and will outclass Hendricks, leading to the change in Johnny's tempo where he will look to slow him down and grind him on the cage. Condit's wrestling defense just is not that great so that will not help. This one will be close but I can easily see another match up controlled by the wrestler to the final bell. Hendricks by Oklahomamolestation.
Just Another Fight Ellenberger vs Marquardt - It may of been unimaginable a few years back but Marquardt is finally making his long awaited UFC Welterweight debut, but against a Juggernaut, well not soo much but still a formidable opponent. This fight, of all on the main card, has the potential to be the most exciting, but I am just not seeing it. Marquardt is coming off an, IMO embarrassing decisive loss against Saffiedine and probably needs to win big here due to his past with Uncle Dana. Ellenberger is coming off a safely played decision win over Jay Hieron after the come from behind knock out loss he suffered to Kampmann. I say you can pretty much expect the same type of fight when he goes against Marquardt. Look for the fight to start slow in the stand up with the occasional punching exchange leading to a clinch. Come the second round Ellenberger will work that wrestling and work he shall, he will control the action and scare away any casual fans before they succumb to narcelepsy. Ellenberger by snuggy.
Also on the card you have the Promise Ring taking on Camozzi, dont expect to get any MMA related boners during this one and for some reason you have the two TUF wash outs opening up the main card for us, yes above what will probably be the best fight on the card Daron Cruickshank vs John Makdessi.
So what do you think, bust or greatest card of 2013? Like I said I hate to say it, but I smell garbage, and yes plenty of John Goodman.