"I got a call one day from Dana, he said 'Chael, I'm putting you to work.'
'You see, I overpaid for this light heavy, who I now realize is a jerk.'
'He's been winning fights, but not with brains or with brawn.
And his matches and his one-armed cartwheels are making the whole crowd yawn.'
'I mean, nobody's coming to see him in living rooms or in bars.'
'Why don't you send this guy to Cirque de Soleil, or Dancing with the Stars.'
He handed me his wallet, his ATM card and pin number too.
He said, 'Chael, whatever's in the account, take it, it's all for you.'
I thought for a moment and I said, 'I'll tell ya' what, Uncle D.'
'For you and the fans, this one's on me.'
So I went and did some homework, I got some tapes of his fights.
I suggest you all give them a try, if you're having trouble sleeping at night.
They tell me he's good, but I know that can't be true,
I saw him get armbarred by Vitor and he's 52!
He's so boring he made Machida fall asleep.
The snoozefest he had against Rashad, or beating up on Bonnar, who's older than God?
Look, here's the truth, believe me it is.
Don't even mention Ryan Bader, he lost to Tito Ortizz! (sic)
Jon, I'm coming to New Jersey, because I've got a job to do.
I'm a fully-loaded cannon, boy, and I'm pointed right at you.
A little advice, go get in your car and hit another tree.
Do whatever you gotta do to stay away Jon, you don't want to fight me."
In just over one month's time, the next major Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) pay-per-view (PPV) will go down, and the event is headlined by one of the organization's most popular and controversial figures, No. 1 light heavyweight contender Chael Sonnen.
Sonnen will challenge dominant champion Jon Jones for the belt in the main event of UFC 159 on April 27, 2013, in Newark, New Jersey.
Fans were expecting a lot of hostility between the two fighters in the lead-up to the bout, but since the fight was announced and through the most recent season of The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) reality show -- where Sonnen and Jones serve as coaches -- both fighters have been extremely cordial towards one another.
While fans were taken off guard by Sonnen's respect towards "Bones," the UFC's most outspoken figure couldn't keep biting his tongue for too long, as on Tuesday's (March 19, 2013) edition of "UFC Tonight" on FUEL TV, Sonnen took multiple shots at Jones in the form of a long-winded soliloquy.
If you missed any of Sonnen's rant from "UFC Tonight," be sure to check out the complete video above. You won't regret it.
UFC 159: "Jones vs. Sonnen" goes down April 27, 2013, from the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey. Along with the Jones vs. Sonnen headliner, a middleweight showdown between top contenders Michael Bisping and Alan Belcher will take place at the event.
For complete news and notes on UFC 159, click here.