Hey guys, its been awhile. As you know I'm not here to be a grammar fairy, I'm here to give you the facts.

Koscheck vs Lawler

Koscheck is going to have his way with good ol' "Robby Poo" Lawler. Koscheck will beat him up on the feet and take him down at will until either the referee stops the contest or the final bell sounds. This is not a competitive contest.

McGee vs Neer

The can fight of the night. Court "The Can Crusher" Mcgee vs Josh "No Chin" Neer. Boy I'm pumped for this one..NOT (McGee wins a boring decision) the end. What a joke to have this fight on the Main Card.

Faber vs Menjivar

Faber is going to wrestle rape him for three rounds. I know right, so hard to believe...

Machida vs Henderson

I'm not sure which round it's coming, but it's coming! A big win by KO for Machida!

Rousey vs Smelly

Rousey has been handed a gift, and quite a gift indeed, the UFC Women's Championship. It must be nice to be so marketable, I have no idea how she is but she is. Rousey wins this fight by submission. She will make history by being the UFC's very first PAPER CHAMP! Woooohoooo! *sigh*