Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) was back on FX Channel on Tuesday night (Feb. 19, 2013) with episode five of The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) 17: "Team Jones vs. Team Sonnen."
Here's how it all went down.
"The Reflection of Perfection" gets underway with outtakes from Rush Hour 2, because I tuned in a few minutes early. Damn that movie was funny. Anyway, we open with both teams talking up tonight's elimination fight between Bubba McDaniel and Kelvin Gastelum.
A lot of guys think it was lame for Bubba to call out the youngest guy on the squad (21).
To that end, it's widely-perceived as Jones' top pick vs. Sonnen's bottom. Kelvin gets an impromptu call from Ronda Rousey, who wishes him luck and promises to come train the guys if he wins. "Bones" mentions how he's trying to resist "The American Gangster's" charms, who is being overly nice to his UFC 159 opponent.
Killing him softly?
Back at the house, Team Sonnen plays charades. I guess it beats the drunken rampages from season's past. Bubba self-meditates by the fire outside and gives us his background which (surprise) is sad and worthy of a piano solo.
"MMA saved my life."
His hat is on crooked but since I'm not hip, I'm not sure if it's supposed to be. Kelvin is seen hitting the mitts inside the gym and talks about his life as a bail bondsman and aspiring fighter. His mom inspires him because of her resolve through hard times and sacrifice.
Nothing wrong with that.
Kelvin needs to work on his hands since he comes from a wrestling background and Coach Sonnen believes his pupil may surprise some people. Hopefully Bubba is one of them. Chael is rambling on about a 2x4 but I had a hard time connecting the wooden dots.
The guys nod accordingly as Sonnen calls himself the "Reflection of Perfection," then proceeds to rip off a dozen or so pro wrestling promos. Hey look, a commercial for "Jack the Giant Slayer." Why don't they just step on the humans? I guess because there would be no movie.
Back to TUF.
Josh Samman is taking inventory and rattles off a list of injuries and explains to Coach Jones why he can't train and fight. "Bones" appreciates his honesty but thinks he might be oversharing and doesn't want his team to dictate how the season unfolds.
That responsibility lies with the coaches.
Bubba calls himself "one of the most dangerous people in the world" when he's "on." Excuse me sir, but that title is reserved for Mr. Ken Shamrock. Check yourself! Speaking of old fighters, Sonnen brings Mickey Rourke into the gym to give the guys a pep talk.
Holy shit, he looks like the Bride of Wildenstein.
Time for the weigh ins and both fighters make weight without incident. Bubba towers over Kelvin during the staredown. The fight is getting started early in the show which means it goes to at least a second round. If you're Bubba and you come in as a massive favorite, that requires an explanation.
Round 1: Kelvin walking him down and they trade punches. Bubba ties him up but gets taken down. Kelvin postures and Bubba escapes but when they slug it out again, the same thing happens. Now Kelvin is trying to work from top and has good position, but loses it when Bubba sweeps him and takes his back. Kelvin looks lost as Bubba works the rear naked choke and a loose top control allows Kelvin to get back to his feet. Sonnen yells at him to wrestle and a scramble dumps them to the floor with Kelvin on top but not for long. Bubba goes for an armbar but Kelvin escapes and once again gives up his back. This fight should have been over a few times but Kelvin survives and gets back to his feet yet again. Bubba misses a head kick and Kelvin takes him down, then gets reversed. Kelvin powers out and rolls him over. The round ends with Kelvin diving into Bubba's guard with a superman punch. I say 10-9 Bubba.
Round 2: Low kick lands for Kelvin and Bubba answers. Bubba charges in, goes for a hip toss and fails, falling to the ground. Kelvin jumps on top and squeezes for a guillotine but can't get it and loses position. Bubba ignores calls for the elbows and takes his back. Kelvin postures up and dumps his balls on Bubba's face. Sonnen screams at him to maintain position and he takes the back. Bubba gets trapped in a rear naked choke and is forced to tap. Wow. Egg, meet face.
Final result: Kelvin Gastelum def. Bubba McDaniel via submission (rear naked choke)
Here is the updated roster through week five:
After the fight, Bubba is swearing up a storm and laments his performance, yelling something about "not establishing the punch." Then come the tears. Jones tells his team he believes in them and reminds Bubba he's still eligible for the wildcard spot.
On the other side, Ronda called in to congratulate Kelvin and intends to make good on her promise to come train with him. To the victor belong the spoils! Celebration is over and we need to pick the next fight. Tor Troeng is going to represent Team Sonnen against Josh Samman (Team Jones).
Both guys talk it up and get us hyped for next week.
See you in seven!