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The SFW FFT: Share Your Rant

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via kristintate.files.wordpress.com



Another day, another disappointment. Thank Nostradumbass its Friday.

This is our weekly off topic thread, only the Safe for Work edition. Due to an office relocation its not nearly as easy for me to scroll through the awesomely deliciousness that is the regular Friday Fun Thread. While I may currently have huge gripes with the reverse-sexism that is rampant in my place of employment (apparently having a set of tits and the ability to sync up your cycle with your superior is a BFOQ for any job with a salary higher than the average 12 year old's allowance in this godforsaken place), I do still enjoy collecting a paycheck and making them pay for regular x-rays, chiropractor appointments, and the occasional specialist visit which are the results of my extracurricular activities.

So please no bouncing booties or flapping funbags in this post. I know thats gonna be hard now that we all know that God's Gift to the Olympics, Michelle Jenneke is posing for the SI Swimsuit Edition. Speaking of which, does anyone really give a fuck about the non-Swuimsuit Editions of that magazine? Seriously.

And sir, if you don't know how to fucking park as soon as snow hits the ground, move to Florida. ULF Murphy would love to have you. On that same note, if you live in the lower half of the country and call my fucking office to ask me if it gets cold in the winter time up here and you want to make sure your little Sugarplum Pricess McSlutty Skank will be able to survive it, please go fuck yourself. Yes, it gets cold here. Its North Da-fucking-kota. Record breaking cold. Consecutive days of -20 Farienheit (side note, I shouldnt have to specify that. Merica motherufckers!) BEFORE THE WINDCHILL is goddamn normal. Your daughter is welcome to wear nothing but a belt across her tits in January but she won't do it twice. But if she's from your gene pool, and you're calling me to ask if it gets cold here, chances are she wont make it through the first semester of classes anyway since shes obviously the offspring of a retard. So dont worry Mr. McFuckstick, Sugarplum Princess McSlutty Skank will be home for Christmas.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that felt good.

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