FanPost

Hump Day Whine!

Potent old man aftershave!

Move over hot girl who smells like vanilla, there’s a new stink in town, and it’s suctioned to the old men of the world like leeches on a ballsack.

No matter if you, or anyone else is wearing nice smelling cologne, when one of these asshats is in the same vicinity as you, all you can smell is the powerful musk of their low-priced, drug store aftershave. Even if you were both in a tiny room filled with hot apple pies fresh out of the oven, you still couldn’t help but think that those pies were somehow filled with Drakkar Noir.

It’s almost as if instead of putting a dab on their face in the morning, they chose to sleep overnight in a bathtub full of Old Spice, with an I.V of English Leather pumping into their veins. Their scent enters the room a few minutes before they do, and stays embedded in fabrics and the walls long after they've gone.

I wonder, do they pile it on to hide the smell of their underpants? Ew, shudder. What I don’t get is, haven’t these people ever smelled themselves before? Surely those large nostrils can pick up the overpowering smell of antiseptic, and strong mints. I don't know about you, but I've never heard a woman say, "OMG you smell so good, what is that, Brut?"

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