I was going to do this as an FFT, but Plainview beat me to it. I think it is a funny story, so I'll share anyway. I was in New Orleans last weekend for a wedding and I saw what is the drunkest small purchase I have ever seen. I am sure there are plenty of rich ass hats that have bought expensive and luxurious things while drunk, but I'm talking normal broke people here. My buddy (the one getting married the next afternoon) was out with all of us on Bourbon Street. Shit started getting a little crazy, like it does, and the group slowly started to split up. Drama everywhere, wives blaming husbands of paying attention to other people, sisters throwing punches at each other and plenty of other random drunken shit. I was tabbed with the job of getting the groom back to his room and this was somewhere between midnight and 6 am, I really can’t fucking remember. After chasing him around the French Quarter trying to get him back to his room we ended up at Harrah’s. After nearly starting a fight with a few locals I got my buddy to make his way back towards the hotel. Here is the fun part. He stops at a Brother’s convenience store because he needs a snack. I follow him in just to make sure his drunk ass keeps upright, and the shopping begins.
2 liter Coke
And a fucking garlic flavored giant pickle in a bag
Even the cashier at the convenience store just off Bourbon Street looked at my buddy like an alien. I did manage to get him back to his room after that little shopping spree.
I stopped by his room the next morning before the wedding to see how things went. There were hot fries, potato skins and corn nuts fucking everywhere, an unopened two liter of coke on the floor and a giant pickle in front of the TV. He did make it to the wedding that day, but I don’t think he felt very well.
I’m sure damn near all of the Maniacs have a drunken story of some kind. Maybe a horror story, maybe Oily got hammered and had sex with a woman thinking it was a man? Maybe just your typical drunken shenanigans, maybe Joben had a few too many (how fucking many would that be, anyway?) at 6 am and got banned from the entire internet?
What’s your story?
If you think the story sucks, here is some T&A to make up for it.