Introducing first, fighting out the bronze corner, this man is mixed martial artist, holding a professional record of 13 wins and one loss, weighing in at 145 pounds, he is the most creepy-looking man on the UFC roster today, ERRRRRRRRRRIK KOOOOOOOOOOOCH!
Perhaps what is even more ridiculous is that "New Breed" continues to sport the awful look after he debuted it at the UFC 149 press conference in May 2012, which compelled us to wonder if he was recovering from a long weekend with tanorexic Jersey mom Patricia Krentcil.
Unfortunately, it wasn't a one-time mistake.
In fact, Koch boasts in the video above that he has been building off that bronze base ever since thanks to one of his skin cancer-causing sponsors, which gives him unlimited access to its top-of-the-line fake bake-bronzing space ships.
Sad, but true:
"I never stop. I've been building on the one I had before. Shout out to SunSeekers in Milwaukee -- they sponsor me, go check them out. Free tans, it's awesome. [I go] like three or four times per week, but they are bronzers! I got like the best beds, like Level 5, like they look like space ships, man. We'll find out later [if it's healthy]. Hopefully when I don't have fight and look good and fight on TV, we'll stop. We'll stop with so much sun. This is a FOX tan, I'm trying to bring out my A-game, you know what I'm saying? We've got to start it off right on FOX."
Koch was unable to showoff his tan on mixed martial arts (MMA) television last year because injuries scuttled his planned showdown with UFC Featherweight Champion Jose Aldo. That's all about to change this Saturday night (Jan. 26, 2013), however, when he steps inside the Octagon to face the surging (and naturally brown) Ricardo Lamas on the UFC on FOX 6 main card that is set to take place from the United Center in Chicago, Illinois.
You never get a second chance to make a creepy-looking nationwide impression, Erik. SunSeekers undoubtedly thanks you well in advance -- you've gone above and beyond the call of responsible bronzer moderation.