It's back, it's back, oh dear god, it's back.
The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) returns TONIGHT (Fri., Sept. 14, 2012) for season 16 of the once great reality television show on its loving home on the FX channel at 9 p.m. ET for a two-hour premiere.
But it's not live like last season.
Indeed, the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) decided it wasn't worth it to run down the contestants all season with shorter notice fights for the sake of live television so this entire season is taped. But that doesn't mean the live blog of said taped season is going away.
We're still here,
The season premiere spans two hours and features the usual 16 fights to see who makes their way into the house to be coached by either Shane Carwin or Roy Nelson, who will lead a team of lightweights and welterweights to the final in December.
It's all after the jump, Maniacs.
TUF 16 RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG SEPT. 14
Broadcast is live.
The guys show up and marvel at the Octagon and how much history it holds. Dana White shows up to give his usual speech before they get going with the fights, which are two, five-minute rounds.
The coaches are introduced and White quickly disagrees with Nelson when he tells the fighters just to worry about getting into the house first and not entertaining people with their fights. White says fuck that, put on a show. That's what he loves.
First fight up now.
Kevin Nowaczyk vs. Dom Waters -- This one ended quick. Nowaczyk kept his hands down and Waters just worked him over with a monster uppercut that put Nowaczyk out clean. Waters wins via knockout in round one.
Lev Magen vs. Michael Hill -- Once again, the fight ended quick after the two patiently exchanged punches until Hill threw a big left hook that put Magen on his ass and out immediately. Hill wins via knockout in round one.
Bristol Marunde vs. George Lockhart -- After a grappling heavy struggle that included a ton of pummeling against the cage, Marunde managed to snap on a guillotine and get the tap. Marunde wins via submission in round one.
How about another?
Jason South vs. Mike Ricci -- As with the first couple fights, Ricci landed a hard shot that sent South ... south, and proceeded to finish the job with vicious ground-n-pound against the cage. Ricci wins via knockout in round one.
This line is just a break up from fight to fight at this point.
Julian Lane vs. Diego Bautista -- This one is broken down into highlights, which showed what looked to be a solid brawl until Lane took Bautista down in the first round. The second saw Bautista turn it around a bit while Dana White bitched and moaned cageside. Lane wins via decision.
To the next one.
Cortez Coleman vs. Igor Araujo -- More highlights. White tells us Coleman won the first round and looked good at the beginning of the second because he got tired and started to fall apart. They went to a third and Coleman was just done. Igor wins via submission in round three.
James Chaney vs. Jerel Clark -- Straight away, Chaney worked an arm and then a triangle. It looked grim for Clark and after about two minutes, the tap came. Impressive display of jiu-jitsu. Chaney wins via submission in round one.
How about one more?
Zane Kamaka vs. Cameron Diffley -- The takedown came quick from Diffley, who quickly managed to grab a hold of an arm and that was that. Diffley wins via submission in round one.
Can we get first round finishes all season?
Frank Camacho vs. Neil Magny -- Holy shit. Camacho almost knocked this guy out with shoulder strikes. Instead, he took him down with a trip and beat him up. That is until Magny got up and reversed the action before the bell sounded to end round one. Magny ducked a punch and grabbed a takedown to start the second and started working him over. Magny took the second thanks to Camacho being out of gas and they went to round three. The last round was just a beating with Magny swinging the hammer. Camacho threatened with a last ditch effort choke but it never came and that was the end of it for him. Magny wins via decision.
Let's do another.
Ricky Legere Jr. vs. Jon Manley -- We get performance highlights once again. Carwin tells us it was an evenly matched fight before Nelson informs us it was a slow paced wrestling match. This of course leads to Dana White complaining about it. Manley wins via decision.
White makes it really hard to be a fan of MMA.
Colton Smith vs. Jesse Barrett -- More highlights and they start with Smith trying to use a fake glove touch to get a cheap shot, as Carwin called it. Nelson called him a "douche" for it. They wrestled and pissed Dana off and that was that. Smith wins via decision.
Getting 'em quick and dirty now.
Matt Secor vs. Max Griffin -- Secor seemed to have a disgusting kneebar locked in early but Griffin popped out and started doing his thing. He almost finished it with a rear-naked choke but the horn saved Secor. Griffin proceeded to pop Secor with a hard shot to start the second frame but ended up getting taken down and controlled for the rest of the round. That forced another one. It was there that Secor managed to tap Griffin after a hard fought battle. Secor wins via submission in round three.
Is this almost over?
David Michaud vs. Eddy Ellis -- This one got the performance highlights treatment. White tells us Michaud lost the first round but the second was back-and-forth. Then Ellis locked in an arm triangle to get the tap. Ellis wins via submission in round two.
Nope, still more to come.
Saad Awad vs. Joey Rivera -- Another one that got the performance highlight treatment. Round one was apparently hot but round two was apparently garbage. This according to White, though. Rivera wins via decision.
Nic Herron-Webb vs. Tim Ruberg -- We get a quick takedown and it's literally silent on the show with just two guys rolling around on each other and breathing heavy while Roy Nelson periodically shouts shit like "pummel" and "get back to your feet." Thanks, Roy. The fight seemed to take forever but eventually Webb got the tap thanks to a nasty looking armbar. Webb wins via submission in round one.
I can't believe this isn't over yet.
Sam Alvey vs. Leo Kuntz -- If only Leo's parents had named him Mike. Maybe it would have saved him from an absolutely brutal right hand destruction. Probably not, though. "It looked like he knocked the jaw off that guy," said Carwin of the knockout. Ouch. Alvey wins via knockout in round one.
The fights are finally over and White tells everyone how well they did. Once again, he's talking about how much he wants to be entertained instead of guys just winning.
You know, because this isn't a real sport. We kind of knew that just because of this show, I guess.
Time to pick teams.
Team Nelson: Waters, Hill, Riffley, Smith, Manley, Webb, Rivera, Lane
Team Carwin: Alvey, Marunde, Ricci, Magny, Chaney, Ellis, Araujo, Secor
They promo the entire season and episode one is (finally) in the books.
See you in seven, Maniacs.