There's not going to be any fanfare here. Just the straightup results. A few things we need to settle before we get started:

I have seven fucking losers who aren't fighting and aren't even booked to fight yet. We need to establish how many of these dead weight douchebags we're allowed to dump (like Chael Sonnen) and how the waiver system works.

For instance, I propose we're allowed to make two changes to our roster every 30 days. If we dump guys, we lose any points he earned us, but we retain any negative points he gave us.

As well, for the waivers system, I propose the following:

Let's say I wanted to dump Chael Sonnen and replace him with Rony Markes (as an example, I don't give a shit about Markes). Basically I should have 12 points to get Markes here. So if someone else wants to dump their middleweight on waivers, they can have him if THEIR middleweight cost more than 12. Otherwise they can't. Make sense? Yes? Then we're done here.

One more question. What's the final date of the fantasy league? My assumption is May? May what?

Oh, and here are the rules, as explained in a less convoluted way than magicmike did. Review and confirm these are the rules:

SCORING

5 points for a win
5 bonus points for the CHALLENGER beating the CHAMPION in a title fight
2 points for a finish
2 points for a draw
1 point for Fight of the Night (whether your guys wins or loses)
-2 points for a loss
-3 points for getting finished
-1 point for getting finished in a title fight
Contender fight rule SCRAPPED by democratic vote

UFC 150

Yushin Okami (stinky) vs Buddy Roberts
stinky gets 5 points for the win, 2 for the finish

Frankie Edgar (Ulf) vs Benson Henderson (violentmike)
violentmike gets 5 points for the win
ulf loses no points since it was a title fight and Edgar wasn't finished

Donald Cerrone (shiv) vs Melvin Guillard
shiv gets 5 points for a win, 2 for the finish, 1 for the fight of the night

Standings (Aug. 12)

1. Magicmike 8

1. ShivanTiger 8

3. Donkeypunch 7

3. U_had_me_at_kimura 7

3. stinky~fingers 7

6. Violentmike 5

7. Deuce02 0

7. unambig 0

7. Ulf Murphy 0

7. Bubbles24 0

COMING UP NEXT!

UFC 151, Sept. 1

Jon Jones (stinky)
16-1 (94%), 81% finishing rate
versus
Dan Henderson (violentmike)
29-8 (78%), 52% finishing rate

Dennis Siver (deuce)
20-8 (71%), 70% finishing rate
versus
Eddie Yagin
16-5-1 (73%), 62% finishing rate

UFC 152, Sept. 22

Charles Oliveria (stinky)
16-2-1 (84%), 94% finishing rate
versus
Cub Swanson
17-5 (77%), 76% finishing rate

UFC on Fuel TV 5, Sept. 29

Paul Sass (bubbles)
13-0 (100%), 92% finishing rate
versus
Matt Wiman
14-6 (70%), 58% finishing rate

Brian Stann (magicmike)
12-4 (75%), 83% finishing rate
versus
Michael Bisping (Shiv)
22-4 (85%), 82% finishing rate

Brad Pickett (magicmike)
21-6 (78%), 77% finishing rate
versus
Yves Jabouin
18-7 (72%), 67% finishing rate

Stipe Miocic (deuce)
9-0 (100%), 89% finishing rate
versus
Stefan Struve (shiv)
24-5 (83%), 92% finishing rate

UFC on FX 5, Oct. 5

Travis Browne (kimura)
13-0-1 (93%), 84% finishing rate
versus
Antonio Silva
16-4 (80%), 88% finishing rate

Matt Mitrione (violentmike)
5-1 (83%), 80% finishing rate
versus
Rob Broughton
15-7-1 (65%), 80% finishing rate

UFC 153, Oct. 13

Glover Teixeira (bubbles)
18-2 (90%), 89% finishing rate
versus
Quinton Jackson
32-10 (76%), 66% finishing rate

Vitor Belfort (bubbles)
21-9 (70%), 81% finishing rate
versus
Alan Belcher (kimura)
18-6 (75%), 89% finishing rate

Erick Silva (bubbles)
14-2-1 (82%), 78% finishing rate
versus
Jon Fitch (violentmike)
24-4-1-1 (80%), 44% finishing rate

Rony Jason (bubbles)
11-3 (79%), 91% finishing rate
versus
Sam Sicilia
11-1 (92%), 91% finishing rate

Jose Aldo (magicmike)
21-1 (95%), 72% finishing rate
versus
Erik Koch
13-1 (93%), 77% finishing rate

UFC on FUEL TV 6

Alex Caceres (violentmike)
7-5 (58%), 86% finishing rate
versus
Kyung Ho Kang
11-6 (65%), 91% finishing rate

UFC 154, Nov. 17

Martin Kampmann (donkey)
20-5 (80%), 85% finishing rate
versus
Johny Hendricks (magicmike)
13-1 (93%), 62% finishing rate

Georges St-Pierre (Ulf)
22-2 (92%), 59% finishing rate
versus
Carlos Condit (deuce)
28-5 (85%), 92% finishing rate

ROSTERS

Stinky

Booked
Jon Jones, Charles Oliveira

Not booked
Junior dos Santos (May 26, 2012)
Yushin Okami (Aug. 11, 2012)
Jake Ellenberger (June 1, 2012) KOSCHECK INJURED
Clay Guida (June 22, 2012)
Urijah Faber (July 21, 2012)

Bubbles

Booked
Paul Sass, Glover Teixeira, Vitor Belfort, Erick Silva, Rony Jason

Not booked
Cain Velasquez (May 26, 2012)
Michael McDonald (April 21, 2012)

Donkey

Booked
Martin Kampmann

Not booked
Alistair Overeem (Dec. 30, 2011) SUSPENSION UNTIL DECEMBER
Lyoto Machida (Aug. 4, 2012)
Anderson Silva (July 7, 2012)
Gray Maynard (June 22, 2012)
Ricardo Lamas (June 22, 2012)
Eddie Wineland (June 8, 2012)

Ulf

Booked
GSP

Not booked
Fabricio Werdum (June 23, 2012)
Wagner Prado (Aug. 4, 2012)
Daniel Sarafian (July 5, 2011) ALSO TUF BRAZIL
Frankie Edgar (Aug. 11, 2012)
Yuri Alcantara (June 23, 2012)
Dominick Cruz (Oct.1, 2011) INJURY

Magicmike

Booked
Brian Stann, Brad Pickett, Jose Aldo, Johny Hendricks

Not booked
Frank Mir (STRIKEFORCE FIGHT)
Ryan Jimmo (July 21, 2012)
Joe Lauzon (Aug. 4, 2012)

Kimura

Booked
Alan Belcher, Travis Browne

Not booked
Mauricio Rua (Aug. 4, 2012)
Nick Diaz (Feb. 4, 2012) SUSPENSION UNTIL FEBRUARY
Khabib Nurmagomedov (July 7, 2012)
Hatsu Hioki (Jun 22, 2012)
Renan Barao (July 21, 2012)

Deuce

Booked
Carlos Condit, Stipe Miocic, Dennis Siver

Not Booked
Phil Davis (Aug. 4)
Tim Boetsch (July 21, 2012)
Anthony Pettis (Feb. 26, 2012) RUMOURED WITH CERRONE
Brian Bowles (Nov. 19, 2011)

ShivanTiger

Not Booked
Alexander Gustafsson (April 14, 2012)
Rory MacDonald (April 21, 2012) INJURY UNTIL NOVEMBER
Chad Mendes (July 7, 2012)
TJ Dillashaw (July 11, 2012)
Chris Weidman (July 11, 2012)
Hacran Dias (June 23, 2012)
Donald Cerrone (Aug. 11, 2012)

Unambig

Not booked
Shane del Rosario (May 26, 2012)
Rashad Evans (April 21, 2012)
Chael Sonnen (July 7, 2012)
Siyar Bahadurzada (April 14, 2012)
Nate Diaz (May 5, 2012) WAITING FOR TITLE SHOT
Chan Sung Jung (May 15, 2012)
Francisco Rivera (July 21, 2012)