Unambig report cards for UFC marathon


First of all, fuck mmaplayground for putting just six fights from UFC 147 and removing the undercard fights. I guess I did shitty, somehow, despite picking 15 of the 23 outcomes correctly. Vina, Wolverine, Bodao and Damm weren't on playground but I picked all four correctly to win. That, and I keep winning five points for the winner but missing the round and method.

Anyway, what did you guys think of 23 fights in the span of 48 hours? Personally I thought it was fucking ridiculous. Even for a guy with no life I found it difficult to sacrifice both nights to sitting at my desk watching fights, especially since the biggest names were guys like Gray Maynard and Rich Franklin. I mean, c'mon.

There were some great fights though, and a lot of shaking up in the featherweight division as the TUF Brazil guys announced their arrival. Here we go:

UFC on FX 4

Ken Stone (B+) vs Dustin Pague (C)

Prediction: Pague by TKO round 2

Result: Stone by split decision

Maybe two weeks wasn't enough but Pague just wasn't into winning this fight. When he wasn't dominating on the feet I expected God Boy to take it to the ground. Instead I believe he pulled himself down in the third, securing the split decision win for Stone. Honestly, this was 23 fights ago so my memory is already hazy but I don't remember much of an inspired effort from either fighter.


Dan Miller (C+) vs Ricardo Funch (B)

Prediction: Miller by decision

Result: Miller by submission round 3

I was pretty unimpressed by Miller out there, especially for a bigger guy coming down to the welterweight to fight a relative unknown. Miller might even have been down two rounds when he sank in the choke, so his effort can't be called anything other than "meh". Funch did well in the clinch, outgrappling the bigger Miller, and seemed to be winning exchanges as well. Dan better have more to show at welterweight or he's not going to break the top 40.

Matt Brown (A) vs Luis Ramos (C)

Prediction: Brown by decision

Result: Brown by TKO round 2

This one was inspiring to watch. Brown has been extremely inconsistent in the UFC, making him a nightmare to pick for any betting man, but lately he's been a real bulldog. After weathering a bit of a storm from Ramos, Brown got medieval on his ass, laying down the brawling Muay Thai style that was effective against Wonderboy and getting the finish. Ramos might need to work on his cardio, too.

My only complaint was the stoppage. Don't step in between the fighters while the dude's still standing. Let there be some finality to the fight. Let there not be any doubt.


Nick Catone (C) vs Chris Camozzi (B-)

Prediction: Catone by decision

Result: Camozzi by TKO doctor round 3

Talk about a crock of horseshit. To rob a man of a potential decision win because of a cut on his forehead is unconscionable. Catone was winning two rounds to zero when Camozzi kneed him in the head, causing a gaping vaginal wound on the surface above his left eye. After letting the fight continue for a while, asshole Miragliotta called timeout so some med school flunkie could hand the robbery to Camozzi.

I have no problem accepting Camozzi got a lucky strike in there. He was losing the fight, managed to get the doctor cut. Fine. But don't talk smack on the fucking PA system afterwards about future fights. You were handed a gift, you fucking TUF scrub. Don't get your panties in a twist.


It's only a flesh wound. Don't stop the fight.

Rick Story (B+) vs Brock Jardine (B-)

Prediction: Story by TKO round 3

Result: Story by decision

Not much to say about this one. As Nick Diaz would say, Story is the better wrestler in the strong man competition. Jardine looked decent enough, but by the third it was clear he was tired of being ridden like a gay cowboy on brokeback mountain.

Steven Siler (A) vs Joey Gambino (D)

Prediction: Siler by submission round 3

Result: Siler by submission round 1

You've got to admit, Siler's been impressive since his TUF days, mauling newbie Joey Gambino en route to his third straight win. I'm not sure what Joey was thinking engaging the clinch since he got dominated shortly after that decision on the ground, leading to his eventual choke. Siler's an interesting fighter since he combines pretty decent Muay Thai with jiu jutsu, but I hope they bring him along slowly.

Ramsey Nijem (A) vs CJ Keith (D)

Prediction: Nijem by submission round 2

Result: Nijem by TKO round 1

Another weird fight, as Keith instigated the clinching and wrestling. At first it seemed like a good idea but then Nijem turned up the volume, got Keith down, mounted him and then started pounding. Another bizarre stoppage since Keith didn't seem remotely close to being stopped or knocked out with the baby punches raining down. I wish they'd let that continue a little longer to see if Keith could have escaped the mount.

Hatsu Hioki (B) vs Ricardo Lamas (B-)

Prediction: Hioki by decision

Result: Lamas by decision

What a fucking joke. If we're going to start handing out decision wins to fighters who spend the whole time on their back then we need to retroactively rejudge a bunch of fights where the bottom guy who was more active got the loss. I mean, Hioki fairly dominated Lamas on the ground for most of the fight. Sure, he took some damage coming in, and sure Lamas landed a bunch of pitter patter annoying shit from the guard, but I mean how do you score two of the three rounds for Lamas? Hioki wins the first round based on that crazy crucifix omoplata alone.


Ross Pearson (C+) vs Cub Swanson (B)

Prediction: Pearson by decision

Result: Swanson by KO round 2

First of all, knockout of the night? Dude, fucking Pearson wasn't knocked out. The man was punched while moving in on a stunned and hurt Swanson, then fell down and was getting up as the referee stepped in. Horrible stoppage and even crazier to call it a knockout of the night.

Swanson is officially cursed for me. Pick him against Lamas and he loses. Pick against him with Roop and he knocks him out. Inconsistent dogfucker. And what the hell is he doing out there anyway? He's getting more and more spastic in every fight since the Mackens Semerzier match.

Brian Ebersole (B-) vs TJ Waldburger (B)

Prediction: Ebersole by KO round 1

Result: Ebersole by decision

Although Ebersole clearly won the fight, it's weird to score the win to Ricardo Lamas for submission attempts but then hand nothing out to Waldburger for his. You see what I'm saying? Where's the consistency? What was Lamas doing that Waldburger wasn't doing? Both were on their backs a lot.

Ebersole proved good again, but was he impressive? Not really. He fended off a lot of high level jiu jitsu attacks with his posture, though he looked lazy in the guard. He didn't land any big shots on the feet, certainly not the kind of beating he put on Chris Lytle. Could Ebersole have peaked at welterweight? Can he make 155? Questions, questions.

Sam Stout (B-) vs Spencer Fisher (B+)

Prediction: Stout by split decision

Result: Stout by decision

I had Fisher winning at least two rounds on the feet, especially the first round, which is about the time that Stout decided to wrestlefuck his way to victory. It was a little disappointing to see the old lion being held down when he was dominating Stout on the feet with beautiful combinations. Fisher retired after the fight, too. Unless I was mistaken I thought I heard them say Stout is training with Alpha Male, so maybe that's why he turned into a wrestler overnight.

Gray Maynard (B) vs Clay Guida (F)

Prediction: Maynard by decision

Result: Maynard by split decision

What the fuck was Guida doing out there? Anybody? Is this the nefarious work of Greg Jackson? Does he have to take every single fight of the night fighter and turn them into boring assholes? Not only did Jackson ruin one of the most electrifying fighters of all time with Condit and turn him into the Gingerbread man, now he's taken Clay Guida and switched his tenacity into an ADD kid in desperate need of Ritalin.

Am I the only person who was watching the fight wishing some sniper would pick off Guida and stop his lunging, bouncing, spastic, faggy, weaving, drunken monkey style? He literally made the Gingerbread man seem motionless by comparison. I've seen less head bobbing from porn stars in a gangbang. The little girl in the film The Exorcist has a more fluid standup than Clay Guida did on Friday night.

How did Guida almost win the fight on the scorecards? Because every now and then he would stop his inane, dizzying, jumping long enough to throw a looping overhand left? Yeah, whatever, judges. Back to sleep with you, now. Maynard was about as impressed with Guida's strategy as Nick Diaz had been with the Natural Born Coward, at one point dropping his hands and taking Guida's pussy power right in the chopper.

Possibly the most annoying performance of all time, easily worse than watching Ben Askren make sweet love to his opponent for 24.5 minutes.


Run, run as fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm a Greg Jackson fighter.

UFC 147

Felipe Arantes (B) vs Milton Vieira (B-)

Prediction: Arantes by decision

Result: Split draw

The score isn't as crazy as it looks. I had Vieira winning the first by being on top, then the second round a draw after Arantes dominated most of the round except for a near KO wheel kick at the very end, and then Arantes clearly won the third. Personally I would have given it to Arantes 29-28, but it was definitely a close fight.

Marcos Vinicius (A+) vs Wagner Campos (B)

Prediction: Vina by submission round 3

Result: Vina by TKO round 3 (not on mmaplayground)

What an unbelievable fight, easily a fight of the night candidate and much more interesting than the main event. It bothers me that Dana White wastes time and money awarding bonuses to guys who neither need the bonuses or really deserve them. At least Vina got KO of the night. And what a beautiful comeback that was.

If anyone has ever wondered what heart looks like, it's exemplified by Vina. Down two rounds to zero after getting mainly dominated on the ground, Vina turned it up in the third Tim Boetsch style, levying a huge smackdown on Campos to get the stoppage. Although Herb Dean stepped in before Campos fell, this was one of those moments when it was perfectly timed because you could see how badly damaged he was when he fell over.


Thiago Perpetuo (A) vs Leonardo Mafra (B-)

Prediction: Bodao by decision

Result: Bodoa by TKO round 3 (not on mmaplayground)

This was classic Bodao if you watched the TUF Brazil series and know his style. A slow and grinding fighter, he turns up the heat the longer the fight goes and by the end of the second round he was putting it on Mafra, who eventually wilted in the third. I think Maccarao was gassed from the winging punches he was throwing the whole fight. If he can show a little more restraint he would be better served in the future.

John Teixeira (B+) vs Hugo Viana (A-)

Prediction: Viana by TKO round 3

Result: Viana by split decision (not on mmaplayground)

This was a razor thin decision and both guys distinguished themselves out there. I was really impressed with "Macapa" since he's a mainly jiu jitsu guy who chased Viana around a lot. I'm willing to give Wolverine the benefit of the doubt though, since he's essentially a bantamweight who was fighting a lightweight out there. Macapa missed weight, coming in at 150 pounds, and his size really showed out there. Still, Wolverine was fighting off takedowns and landing big shots.

You've got to be excited to see either guy again. They really add something to an otherwise bereft Featherweight division.

Delson Heleno (D) vs Francisco Drinaldo (A)

Prediction: Heleno by decision

Result: Drinaldo by TKO round 1

So, you saw what the definition of heart is with Vina, right? Well, here's the definition of an absence of heart. Heleno "Pe de Chumbo" wilted in confusion after being unable to get the takedown against Drinaldo "Massaranduba", fighting two weight classes above his natural weight, before getting pounded out late in the first.

It's utterly incredible what Massaranduba has accomplished at 185 pounds considering he's the Jungle Fight lightweight champion. I am genuinely looking forward to seeing him drop down to welterweight or lightweight. He is an aggressive, tough, resilient fighter.

Anistavio Medeiros (D-) vs Rodrigo Damm (A)

Prediction: Damm by TKO round 3

Result: Damm by submission round 1 (not on mmaplayground)

I'm not sure what Medeiros was doing out there. He seemed distracted and uninterested in the fight. Perhaps it had something to do with his mouthpiece, but Gasparazinho displayed little spirit out there. He was clearly the weakest fighter on the show, so it's not altogether surprising. It was nice to see Damm get the win, since his record doesn't do justice to his skill level.

Yuri Alcantara (C) vs Hacran Dias (A)

Prediction: Alcantara by TKO round 1

Result: Dias by decision

I'll admit, I slept on Barnabe. I didn't think he could waltz into the UFC and take out one of the elite featherweight fighters on his first go. But he did. He completely immobilized Alcantara's standup with takedowns. Other than a close armbar attempt and a late surge by Alcantara, it was all Dias. It's almost unfair having another amazing Nova Uniao fighter in the UFC.


Fabricio Werdum (A) vs Mike Russow (D)

Prediction: Werdum by TKO round 2

Result: Werdum by TKO round 1

Russow was never really in this fight. Werdum landed big punches and knees, and whenever it went to the clinch, Werdum broke away and launched his attack again. It's amazing how much Werdum has grown in leaps and bounds since his loss to Junior dos Santos. Dana White has to give him his due eventually. Let's hope he fights somebody near the top of the food chain soon. He hasn't been challenged since Alastair Overeem.

Rony Bezerra (A) vs Godofredo Pepey (C+)

Prediction: Pepey by submission round 3

Result: Bezerra by decision

It was nice to see Rony "Jason" get the win, since it obviously meant a lot to the guy. He practically sobbed on the way into the cage and I was curious whether he could even fight with his emotions so utterly spent. The fight itself was pretty good, but it would have been better if Pepey had shown up. I thought he won the first round, but then he stopped moving forward in the second and third, handing away the victory.

There was a shitload of shadow boxing going on in the second and third, interrupted only by brief flurries of action, which was pretty uncharacteristic of Pepey if you watched the show. I expected him to drive in for takedowns and use those armbars that served him so well before. Still, we saw the emergence of two really talented featherweight guys in the UFC division. Jason didn't beat Pepey very convincingly, so both have a lot of potential from here on out.


Cezar Ferreira (C+) vs Sergio Moraes (A-)

Prediction: Ferreira by KO round 1

Result: Ferreira by decision

Vitor Belfort's boy, Mutante, came out to the music of his master, but that was where the similarities stopped. Mutante was overly cautious, refused to go to the ground to finish Moraes when he was badly hurt, and tried to win on points. It almost cost him as Moraes showed tremendous heart chasing him down, landed punches, and rocking the bigger, more talented and deadly fighter.

You've got to wonder if Mutante has inherited Belfort's notorious lack of heart from his mentor. As for Moraes, he was badly outgunned and damaged early, but he fought valiantly. That gets an "A" in my books.

Wanderlei Silva (B-) vs Rich Franklin (B)

Prediction: Franklin by TKO round 2

Result: Franklin by decision

I thought it was pretty cool Franklin got the decision win considering he was knocked out in the second round. Yes, he was fucking knocked out. Watch the fight again. His head bounced off the mat as he was falling. If that's not a knockout, then Pearson wasn't knocked out the night before, nor was Jon Fitch knocked out by Johnny Hendricks. Again, consistency, folks. That's all I ask for. Franklin recovered amazingly well for a man who had his lights put out for 500 milliseconds, I'll admit.

How did I like the fight. Well, it was fine, when Wandy was trying. Most of the time he was doing that stupid, pointless Rampage stalking, taking punches and kicks while moving forward. His most effective moments were when he was putting it on Franklin, forcing him to pedal backwards and get off balance. The only problem is that when Wandy does that he sometimes forgets himself and gets into these winging wars he always loses. Like the last five seconds of the fight.

All in all, I don't mind Franklin winning the fight. He won all the rounds except the second, which I would have scored a 10-8 for Silva. I think that's apt, considering he knocked Franklin the fuck out.


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