Here goes nothing.
Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) President Dana White has found himself and his popular mixed martial arts (MMA) promotion at yet another crossroads earlier this afternoon thanks to Alistair Overeem and his poor piss.
If Georges St. Pierre isn't shredding knee ligaments, Nick Diaz is being demoted for missing mandatory promotional obligations. If Quinton Jackson, among others, isn't imploding on Twitter, popular fighters are championing the benefits of Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT). And even when White packs a parachute to head off the potential problems he seemingly should be able to control, Australian judges screw it up because they can't calculate simple math.
Mo' money, mo' problems.
Anyway, White and Co. have to assume that Overeem -- who in his Octagon debut beat the promotion's box office behemoth, Brock Lesnar, back to the WWE's world of pretend play fighting -- won't be able to make his date with destiny at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada, on May 26, 2012.
Even if he does somehow explain away the dirty sample he provided at the "surprise" UFC 146 pre-fight drug test at an upcoming hearing with the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC), his participation in the championship main event will undoubtedly be shrouded in controversy. And if the muscle-bound K-1 kickboxing champion is allowed to compete and then goes onto defeat "Cigano," it wouldn't sit well at all with most MMA fans, much less a skeptical public-at-large.
That's what we call a "No-Win" situation.
If history is any indication, Overeem will not get licensed to fight dos Santos. His checkered past, combined with his off-the-charts testosterone levels, which are indicative of performance-enhancers (he is innocent until proven guilty), are just too much to overcome in a short amount of time ... if ever.
White should have known this was possible. And he shouldn't sound too incredulous knowing what we all thought we knew. Plain and simple, it was a mistake to book Overeem for a fight in "Sin City," which boasts perhaps the most strict and resourceful athletic commission in the United States.
That's all in the past now. It's irrelevant. White needs to switch gears on the fly -- a familiar, albeit refined talent at this point -- and again book a match up that will "blow the fucking minds" of fight fans and help them forget that Overeem was even his first choice to co-headline such a significant event.
Frank Mir, the most logical option, isn't going to do that. Josh Barnett is stuck in Strikeforce, and even if he was available, his steroids skeletons are too spooky under the extenuating circumstances. Dan Henderson -- who is sitting around just waiting for meaningful fights -- would be a mistake on so many levels.
Enter the wily wildcard: Fedor Emelianenko.
G'head, call me crazy. Or worse ... I probably deserve it. But, hear me out.
Where there is smoke, there is fire. M-1 and the crazy Russians have been chirping a lot lately, indicating that their prized possession, who also happens to be regarded as perhaps the greatest MMA Heavyweight fighter ever, is willing to talk turkey.
White (Bad Cop) and Lorenzo Fertitta (Good Cop) have publicly -- and most likely intentionally -- Tweeted mixed messages recently, with White saying he has "zero Interest" in the Russian enigma, while Fertitta claims he's open to negotiations. Emelianenko is the Golden Goose who has not only eluded White for so many years, but also made him batty with his indifferent attitude and impossible demands.
And it's those demands, the dreaded "co-promotion" and other strong-arm tactics, that have served as deal breakers in the past. It's possible that those roadblocks still exist, but if they don't, White would be foolish not to at least listen. Missing out on an opportunity to plug in "the one who got away" into an improbable, historic showdown inside the Octagon doesn't seem like a wise decision.
Whether they like it or not, the legacies of White and Emelianenko will forever be intertwined in the history books ... for all the wrong reasons. Emelianenko will be panned for never stepping foot inside the Octagon, while White will be remembered for being unable to land his White Whale.
That can all change.
Sure, Emelianenko doesn't deserve the opportunity based on his most recent body of work. Knocking out Satoshi Ishii and decisioning Jeff Monson are not major accomplishments for a man of his esteemed caliber. Nonetheless, his legendary body of work, as well as his personal history with the UFC and White, prove otherwise.
Timing, too, plays a huge role. And there has perhaps never been a better time for both parties, as well as the fans, than right now for Emelianenko to prove himself in the UFC. Even if he doesn't, White can say, "I told you so" when all is said and done. I can't think of a more mutually beneficial moment in their twisted co-existence.
Indeed, UFC President Dana White has found himself and his popular MMA promotion at yet another crossroads. It's at the intersection of history, opportunity and, most important, fate.
He can't miss this bus (again) if it's willing to stop. It would blow my mind.