The verbatim transcripts you are about to read reveal the intricate behind the scenes communications between Dana White and the various parties involved.
It is all a product of my imagination. No phones were hacked, no privacy invasions were committed, I don't know any of these anonymous people, and any resemblance with actual phone conversations would be purely coincidental.
It's a waste of time to you but it's mma related and I get to put my sentence structures and grammar to test. Flag me.
February 7, 2012. 9:13 AM:
GSP: Oui allo?
D. White: Georges? Dana here, how are you doing?
GSP: Hi, I'm fine, thanks. What's going on?
D. White: I'm with Lorenzo and Joe here (voices in the background: 'Hi Georges!') and we were thinking about a time frame with which to schedule your fight with Carlos. He said he wants to wait for you. How does November sound? Is it any good you think?
GSP: Actually Dana, I had another idea. Tell Carlos he can be welterweight champion if he wants, he has my blessing as I am renouncing the belt. He deserves it. He earned it. I can always work my way up to another title, I did it twice already. I want something else. Just give me Diaz. That's all I ask.
D. White: What!? Are you kidding me? We can't do that! Diaz lost and the interim champion must fight the champion, that's the whole point of interim titles. That's how it's always been done Georges. You're kidding right?
GSP: Honestly, the fight with Diaz is more important to me at this point in my career than the championship. You owe it to me. And you know the fans still want it.
D. White: You're serious? Don't be difficult now Georges, you've always been a company man, you don't get to choose your fights like that, you never did, don't start now. Carlos wants to fight you. Plus, don't you think he earned the right to fight you?
GSP: He did. That's why I say let him be the undisputed champion. If he stays champion, he'll see me soon enough don't you worry. Talk to him, make him defend his title like I did every time I became champion. There are plenty of contenders out there.
D. White: He's not gonna like that you know. What's to stop him from saying you're ducking him? That you're running away from him? That you're scared of him? It's not gonna look good Georges, people are gonna put you down all over the internet for refusing to face the interim title holder. I'm not sure you've thought all of this through.
GSP: Putting me down on the internet? Come on Dana! That's never gonna change. What else is new? I have already been crucified on a daily basis ever since that Hardy fight. Have you ever checked out that website called MMA Mania? It's a very influential one and I get murdered there many times each day. Crushing Diaz is just what I need to make fools out of them. It won't shut all the haters up but smashing Diaz ought to make them look a bit stupider in their hating of me. I just know I can obliterate that guy. I know it. Trust me Dana.
D. White: Does your manager know about this? Being the champion means a lot in our salary structure, you know that. Giving the belt away is a big fucking deal Georges.
GSP: At this point in my career, it makes perfect sense to do just that.
D. White: How Georges? How is your not fighting for the belt any good for your career at this point?
GSP: Two reasons. One, we've come too far into this fight to not do it. Too many things have been said. I don't care if I have to do it in Strikeforce, in Bamma, or in Japan, in the UFC middleweight division or even in boxing, I'll chase him everywhere he goes.There are some words that need to be eaten in the most painful way possible. It's like that. I have a score to settle.
The second reason is that such an event would sell more PPVs than anyone I've ever been on. I'm talking bigger than UFC 94 Dana, bigger than UFC 100! Surely, I'm not the only one who can see it?
D. White: Why do you think we tried so hard to make that fight? We know that. We've wanted that fight as much as you Georges but things have changed now, he lost.
GSP: Talk to Carlos, make him understand. He's a reasonable guy. Offer a compensation.
D. White: Let me see what I can do, maybe we can work something out and still have you fight the champion. It's your belt Carlos wants, he's gonna be pissed, I can tell you right now. Alright, thanks for your time Georges, I'll see what can be done.
February 7, 2012. 9:21 AM:
Carlos Condit: Hello?
D.White: Hey Carlos how are you doing? Dana here.
Carlos Condit: I'm alright, it's just these fucking haters on the internet, I just coming from MMA Mania and it's really pissing me off believe me! But other than that I feel great. What's up?
D. White: I got a bad news and a good news, which one do you want?
Carlos Condit: Whatever. Shoot.
D. White: GSP is renouncing the belt, no joke, and wants to fight Nick for his return fight.
Carlos Condit: What!!? He can't do that! He's the champ and I'm interim champ. This is bullshit! (loud smashing sound in the background) Who wants to be welterweight champion without fighting GSP? Huh? I'll never get the respect that comes with being champion and you know that Dana. The whole point was for me to fight him. That is exactly what I have been after since day one. This is such bullshit! (Background noise: very loud smashing sound in the background) You guys can't do that to me. It's unfair! I defeated Diaz already you know that, right!?
D. White: He wants to fight Diaz and no one else. I can't force him to fight you you know, the guy is talking about boxing it out with Diaz for God's sake! They contractually can't do that but I feel they just might try to do it anyway. I can't have that. I gotta do something.
Carlos Condit: It's unfair and you know it Dana. I can't believe you're asking me that. And what's the good news?
D. White: There is a way out of this. I'm doubling your next purse, you fight Diaz again and if you silence all the critics, win decisively, I'll give you GSP, but you gotta make it clear and leave no doubt that you're better than Diaz. In other words, GSP will agree to fight you if you put Diaz out of the equation. If you do that, I'm pretty sure everyone will lose interest and Georges will forget about Diaz. You get that?
Carlos Condit: This is not right Dana. Double purse you said? (long silence) ...Can you make it look as if I'm the one asking for it though?
D. White: You got it Carlos, thank you, I won't forget this.
February 7, 2012. 9:26 AM:
Nick Diaz: Yes?
D. White: Nick?
Nick Diaz: Huh? Who is this? (loud music in the background, then stops)
D. White: This is Dana.
Nick Diaz: Hi, ... what's up?
D. White: How are you?
Nick Diaz: I'm awright,... you know... (whisperings - inaudible) ...What is it about?
D. White: I got a question for you, just listen.
Nick Diaz: ...
D. White: How would you like to rematch Carlos?
Nick Diaz: What? ... Of course I would, I said so already, he didn't win that fuckin fight (inaudible shouts in the background + heavy coughing)...Why do you ask Dana?
D. White: Carlos is up for it.
Nick Diaz: ...(silence)
D. White: Nick you still there?
Nick Diaz: ...(silence)
D. White: (speaking to someone else in the room:) I think he hung up Lorenzo, I kid you not.
D.White: Hello Nick?
Nick Diaz: Yeah yeah I'm here. Listen,...huh... I have to talk to Cesar first you know... but huh...yeah I want that rematch. I've already said so are you kidding? Tell him he better bring it this time though. I ain't got time for this shit you know. I don't want to fight the same scared little bitch all over again. You get me?
D. White: I do and I like it! Get ready, winner of this one gets GSP. Second chance is there. We'll announce it later this week. I think the fans will be pleasantly surprised. Or at least, surprised.
February 7, 2012. 9:33 AM:
D. White: Georges? There's a slight change of plans but I think you're gonna like it. It goes like this: You take all the time you want to fully recover then you get the winner of Diaz-Condit, part 2. I have both Diaz and Carlos on board but you must accept to fight the winner. What do you think?
GSP: A rematch!? Tabarnac! Carlos agreed to that? Jesus! Do it then! This is great! If Condit wins and Diaz loses again, I'll fight Carlos. I can't fight a 2 time loser. This can work, I can live with that.
February 9, 2012. 12:01 AM:
D. White: Georges, me again. News is Diaz tested positive for cannabis. It's about to be made public.
GSP: Really? Again? I don't believe this! What's wrong with this guy? You know what? I don't care. He'll probably get something like a 12 month suspension and that's all the time I need and more. Have Condit defend his title, Diaz is still mine when I return. It shouldn't matter because I can't fight this year no matter what. Stay on track Dana, we have to make it happen.
D.White: I'm beginning to think this might not be such a great idea. He's unreliable, I can't promise anything at this point. Lorenzo is pretty pissed right now, I don't know If we can still make that fight happen. First, I'd need to find a worthy contender for the belt. Maybe If Ellenberger finishes Sanchez, I could have Carlos defend the belt against him then have the winner wait for the winner between you and Diaz. I don't know Georges, we'll see what happens. No promises. it's getting complicated.
February 15, 2012. 11:01 PM on MMA Mania:
Carlos Condit: Hello?
D. White: Carlos, Dana, same terms, same everything except you fight Jake Ellenberger. Are you still on board?
Carlos Condit: Same terms? I'm in.
February 16, 2012. 2:37 PM on MMA Mania:
Carlos Condit agrees to rematch with Jake Ellenberger for the UFC welterweight championship.
And that my friends is how Nick Diaz and Jake Ellenberger both earned a title shot. (one title being the real fucking deal, the other make believe). Not everyone was happy but everyone made tons of money.