Halftime? Between games? Commercial break?
No matter what the situation, welcome back to Mania. Earlier today, we looked at the finest brain-scramblings 2012 has had to offer with our 2012 "Knockouts of the Year." For those of you in the mood for more precise demolition, don't worry, we've got you covered.
Follow me for the second installment of "5 Top 5s," featuring 2012's finest submissions in mixed martial arts (MMA).
Here we go:
It was like something straight out of an anime, only instead of naked girls in hot springs, it was Demian Maia's arm crushing his face that turned Rick Story's schnozz into a ketchup dispenser at UFC 142. Was it blood vessels bursting, or Story's blood realizing it was about to get flattened and making a break for it? We'll never know.
It may not have been some ultra-fancy spinning flying whatchamajigger, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a more brutal submission than Ronda Rousey's hellacious armbar on Miesha Tate in their titular title bout. Hell, it's still hard to watch.
Let's move on, please.
When Dustin Hazelett announced his retirement from MMA, many were left scrambling for a new "bearded crazy submissions guy" in the lighter weight classes. Unfortunately for Jake Hecht, T.J. Waldburger decided to make their bout at UFC on FX 2 his audition for the role, hitting a beautiful armbar as Hecht attempted to escape via whizzer. Nicely done.
#2: Turning a calf into veal -- Charles Oliveira vs. Eric Wisely
There's not much more awesome to watch on the mat than a properly-executed submission chain. In his featherweight debut opposite Eric Wisely on UFC on Fox 2: "Evans vs. Davis," however, Charles Oliveira went the extra mile, eschewing the traditional triangle-to-armbar combo in favor of a brutal heel-hook-to-kneebar-to-calf-slicer sequence, the first successful specimen of its kind in UFC history. Wisely can wear his limp with pride knowing he was part of an amazing moment.
Yeah, it was just an armbar. But it was an armbar on Paul Sass, who had spent his whole MMA career tapping people left and right from his guard and who had thrown approximately five dozen submission attempts at Wiman by that point. The big question heading into this UFC on FUEL TV 5 clash was whether Matt Wiman could survive Sass's grappling attack; at no point was the possibility of Wiman pulling off his own submission even considered. A great upset and just about the perfect way to do it.
Did I miss some bone-snapping, trachea-crunching submission? Let me know in the comments and gird yourselves for the next installment of "5 Top 5s," looking for the "Fights of the Year."