UFC 153: The quick and dirty


Hello again and welcome to another episode of the quick and dirty. Reminds me a lot of marital sex during that time of the month, if you know what I mean. And I'm guessing you all do, except for ThePride.

Honestly, even if I had time to do a comprehensive breakdown, I wouldn't want to. Trying to guess how some of these Brazilians will perform is more difficult than trying to find cocaine in a snow storm. I predict some serious bed-shitting on the weekend, to tell the truth.

Nevertheless, here we go:

Madadi, because Christiano Marcello has the punching power of a double upper body amputee. He's going to get Marcello down and lay on him for 15 glorious minutes, hopefully without pulling a Pokrajac.

Camozzi, because Luiz Cane has a chin made of finely crafted glass. Why the fuck he's -115 on betting sites I can't understand. Camozzi is easy money here.

Moraes, because I think he wears down Forte and takes advantage on the ground late. Honestly, Forte is a huge dark horse. All these TUF Brazil kids are.

Brandao, because fuck it. I want to see that winging punch land right in Gambino's fucking chops. I want to see him knock Joey's head off and leave it in Dana White's bed while he's sleeping to scare the fuck out of him.

Trinaldo, because he's every bit as muscled up and nasty as Tibau. People are sleeping on Trinaldo. Dude is the Jungle Fight lightweight champion and beat the snot fuck out of people at middleweight.

Bezerra, because Sam Sicilia is kind of a cunt. He just is. I know Rony has a crying problem and he's kind of an emotional wreck, but I think he subs Sam. Let's face it, TUF Brazil was deep. TUF 15 was as shallow as Jon Jones' consideration for other people.

Maia, because I think he's going to muscle people around at welterweight. Story might win this one with wrestling and better standup, but I just got this feeling Demian is going to stop sucking soon

Davis, because he's going to get hit in the chops once and double leg Prado. Then instead of thumbing his eye he's going to thumb his bum for three rounds, old school wrestlefuck MMA.

Silva (Erick), because fuck Jon Fitch's blanket. I think Erick has the sort of style that is ridiculously hard to stop. He hits hard as fuck, he's good on the ground, and he's very fast.

Teixeira, because although Fabio hits hard, he'll be taken down and submitted. The beauty of Glover's game is not only does he hit brutally hard, he can choke a motherfucker out.

Big Nog, because any other belief than a first round knockout is literally moronic. This will be the most one-sided beatdown of the night. Herman has nothing, and I mean actually zero, to offer that Big Nog can't handle with his eyes shut.

Silva (Anderson), because he's the GOAT. Bonnar might be able to get him down, but he'll probably stand and bang. Why? Because in the end Bonnar wants to be known as the guy who went toe to toe with Silva and wasn't knocked out. And honestly, I think he'll survive a brain-damaging three rounds.

Best odds:

Bonnar on SBG Global at +800 is worthwhile. Dude might hold Silva down for three rounds. Anything can happen.

Maldonado on Sportsbook at +350 is not bad, considering the guy has a brick chin.

Prado on SportBet at +325 is another decent investment.

Parlay: Trinaldo, Camozzi, and Fitch at +914 on Bookmaker is pretty great.

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