1. Big Nog's Arm Will Dematerialize - In a fantastic display of preschool-like stubbornness, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira allowed Frank Mir to break his arm. Nothing says, "I'm tougher than you" than letting a guy lay on top of you and manually change which hand you sign your name with! After trying to come back too soon "Big Nog" had to pull out of a fight at UFC 149. There's a good chance his desire to fight in Brazil is causing him to come back too soon.FAN BONUS: We will all be treated a HD view of what a grown mans arm disintegrating looks it.
2. The Crowd Will Chant Death Threats to Stephan Bonnar - Okay, this one isn't "likely" to happen. It's downright guaranteed to happen! The Brazilian crowd, at UFC events, have been known to chant blunt sentiments. At the weigh ins for UFC 148 they were chanting encouraging things like, "You're gonna die" to Chael Sonnen. While a bit mean spirited, Chael earned those remarks. However, you may hear similar things chanted to Stephan Bonnar. Not in a trash talking sort of way--they may be, sincerely, warning Stephan Bonnar to take a dive in his bout against Anderson Silva.
3. Anderson Silva Will Get Beat and the Crowd Will Riot - Okay, who am I kidding? There's no way Anderson loses this fight for two reasons:
1) There's no way a just God can give Jon Jones an opportunity to say, "See, that's why you don't take short notice fights."
2) It's STEPHAN BONNAR!!!
Don't get me wrong, I like the guy as a personality and ambassador for the sport, but I don't see any scenario where Stephan eeks out a win here. As for the riot, after watching their countryman and arguably the greatest fighter of all time separate an American from his consciousness, there's a really good chance some cars will be overturned and the Octagon will be dismantled. These things happen in Brazil...
4. Dana White Dies of Sun Poisoning - After Dana's recent sun poisoning incident where he looked like a human version of Bob the Tomato, I'm hoping his handlers pack him some SPF 4000. If not, we may have to add White to the list of those affected by the injury pandemic!
5. Everyone Will Get Injured - Call me a cynic, but I'm not convinced that some delusional 90's figure skating fan won't go around and club each fighter on this card, cancelling it entirely, and leaving us with a press conference where Dana White calls Ed Soares a sport killer. Now if you'll excuse me, my hat needs some more tinfoil.
Nick Higgins is a freelance MMA writer, recording artist and producer, and all around doer of cool things. Follow him on Twitter @UndercardNick