Episode five of The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) 13 gets underway with Team Lesnar still reeling from last week's loss. Len Bentley can't take the heat so he amscrays during the ass-chewing but Clay Harvison understands Coach Lesnar's message and chimes in with a few phrases of his own including "brass tacks" and "talk turkey."
Brock wants someone else to "wow him" other than Chris Cope. Who's it going to be? Back at the house, Bentley continues his anti-Lesnar tirade with Charlie Rader as his audience.
It's time for the fight announcement and Team Dos Santos, who is up 3-1 and has control of the fight pick, chooses Mick Bowman to face off against Team Lesnar's Clay Harvison.
Bowman looks like a British Mike Swick, which makes Nostradumbass an instant fan.
The fighters are excited about the match-up and Bentley doesn't miss an opportunity to make it about him: "This could be another highlight-reel fight, like myself!" Dana White wants to see Team Lesnar get back into the win column to keep things competitive and to boost their morale.
Assistant coach Lew Polley starts giving Bowman a motivational speech but comes across like a pissed-off drill instructor. "Cigano" shoots him the evil eye and then really loses his patience when Polley, brought in to teach wrestling, is giving the team lessons in boxing.
This one is going to boil over sooner rather than later.
During practice, Bowman rattles off his list of bad intentions and Coach Dos Santos ends their sparring session by growling "Yahhhhhh ... yew are da weener!"
On the other side of things, Clay Harvison has a more direct approach. He's going to throw his "fuck you punch" just to see "where he's gonna go" and "what he's gonna do with it."
I like this kid's style.
Chris Cope, AKA "Captain Shady Douchebag," can be seen in the distance studying Clay's workout. Back at the house, Harvison tells the rest of his team that's all the excuse he needs to "drag him out into the street and murk his ass."
Shit just got real!
Cope denies any kind of tomfoolery amidst smores and campfires. They seem to take his word at face value but then come apart at the seams later that night.
Tony gets fingered for the "double agent" sand writing but when confronted by Cope it gets heated. Turns out it was Mick Bowman from Team Dos Santos who was having a little fun and Team Lesnar took the bait: hook, line and sinker.
Fight day is here (finally).
Mick promises to die before he loses (gulp) and wants to win for his wee-one back across the pond. Clay gets his shoulders rubbed by Coach Lesnar and predicts a 90-percent probability they're going to sling leather.
I like those odds.
Elimination bout #5: Team Dos Santos' Mick Bowman (7-2) vs. Team Lesnar's Clay Harvison (8-3)
Round 1: Touch of gloves and Clay lands an overhand right. He throws another and backs him into the fence. Mick with a couple of long-distance low kicks but Clay keeps the pressure on with the hands. Mick's defense thus far consists of grimacing, covering his face and backpedaling. He half-heartedly shoots and Clay easily stuffs him and puts Mick on his back. Punches and kicks rain down on the grounded fighter. Mick tries the Liu Kang bicycle kick from his keister but Clay sidesteps and flops into his guard. Mick scares him with two quick sub attempts, forcing Clay to retreat and let him back up. Mick working the legs but getting picked apart on his feet. Another failed shot from the Brit. Clay rushes and they briefly go to the cage. They take turns reversing and smothering each other while "Cigano" screams "Poosh his head Meek!" They break away and Mick peppers the legs and ends the round with a failed takedown attempt. 10-9 Harvison on the unofficial Nostradumbass scorecard.
Round 2: Second round opens much like the first. Clay bombing and Mick retreating. They end up pressed against the cage. After a brief mugging, Mazzagatti instructs them to work. They push off and go back to the center of the Octagon and Clay looks winded. He eats a series of jabs and lets a haymaker go. The action is much slower than it was in the opening frame. Mick is clearly the fresher fighter but allows his tired foe to back him up with wild punches. It's fighting scared 101 and he's giving Clay the round. Mick tries to shoot but they hit the cage and Clay reverses position. They hug it out until time expires. 10-9 Harvison.
Result: Clay Harvison def. Mick Bowman via unanimous decision
After the fight, Coach Lesnar is happy that Harvison was able to "wow him." Unfortunately it will be the last time as Clay suffered a compound fracture of the pinkie finger and the bone is sticking out. That means a cast and a one-way ticket out of the competition.
Things are just as gloomy for the other team as Bowman breaks down in the locker room and Coach Dos Santos tries to console him to no avail.
Another one in the books. Whadja think?
Stay tuned next week as Len Bentley takes a painful flop in training, assistant coach Lew Polley gets reamed out by head coach Junior dos Santos (again), and the last two quarterfinal bouts get underway.
Plus, the wildcard is announced!
Who will it be???
See you right here next Wednesday night. Same TUF-time, same TUF-station.