Charlie Murphy's True MMA Stories (via ThomasGerhardt)

Not my stuff... Has this even been posted here before? If so, I don't care. I didn't see it. 

This has to be so many words, so here's the UFC 140 card. I hope you bastards are excited for it. 

Main card

• Light Heavyweight Championship bout:  Jon Jones (c) vs.  Lyoto Machida[1]
• Heavyweight bout:  Frank Mir vs.  Antônio Rodrigo Nogueira[1]
• Light Heavyweight bout:  Tito Ortiz vs.  Antônio Rogério Nogueira[1]
• Welterweight bout:  Claude Patrick vs.  Brian Ebersole[1]
• Featherweight bout:  Mark Hominick vs.  Chan Sung Jung[1]

[edit]Preliminary card

• Light Heavyweight bout:  Krzysztof Soszynski vs.  Igor Pokrajac[1]
• Middleweight bout:  Jared Hamman vs.  Constantinos Philippou[1]
• Lightweight bout:  John Makdessi vs.  Dennis Hallman[1]
• Bantamweight bout:  Yves Jabouin vs.  Walel Watson[1]
• Lightweight bout:  Mark Bocek vs.  Nik Lentz[1]
• Welterweight bout:  Rich Attonito vs.  Jake Hecht[1]
• Lightweight bout:  Mitch Clarke vs.  John Cholish[1]

[edit]