Episode six of The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) 14 "Thrown to the Lions" gets underway and "Mayhem" Miller's assistant coach, Ryan Parsons, takes Michael Bisping to task for his behavior following last week's fight between Akira Corassani and Dustin Neace.
Parsons tells "The Count" he now understands why Bisping is the most hated man in the UFC, to which the Brit replies: "Hey, I make a lot more money than you!"
As expected, the first few minutes are spent on Corassani and the phantom tap.
Soon the focus shifts to the upcoming fight between Steven Siler and Diego Brandao. Miller touts Siler's cardio, who is looking pretty confident and tells the cameras to expect a knockout.
Be careful what you wish for.
Bisping thinks Diego is vicious, but unpredictable, and his kill-kill-kill mentality could burn out his jets before getting the job done. He also warns him that underestimating Siler is a mistake. I dunno, Brandao has that crazed look in his eyes. I'm not sure he can be reached at this point.
Part of that likely has to do with the death of his father, which has motivated him to give up his gangster lifestyle and provide for his family.
Let's see if his choice pays off.
145 lbs.: Steven Siler (17-6) vs. Diego Brandao (13-7)
Round 1: Brandao comes sprinting out with a flying knee and Siler just calmly steps out of the way. Coach Bisping screams in disapproval. Both men engage with a hook, then leg kicks. Diego swinging wildly like a madman but without much accuracy. Doesn't matter, Siler is fighting scared, defensively speaking, and gets jaw-jacked Dan Simmler style (sans moaning). Fight over. Dana makes his Chris-Tucker-Friday-Dayum-face.
Diego Brandao def. Steven Siler via knockout
After the fight, Bisping goes into douche-mode and makes fun of Team Miller, prancing around with a huge smirk on his face. Even the usually-game Miller can only shake his head in disbelief.
Team Bisping is under the impression that between the two remaining opponents from Team Miller, John Dodson and Roland Delorme, Roland is the easier fight. Now they just have to decide who will fight him, John Albert or T.J. Dillashaw.
Looks like "Prince" Albert is booked to fight Dodson, basically making the last paragraph completely pointless. Thanks for the swerve, Spike. Akira calls Dillashaw a "draft dodger" and claims Albert was "thrown to the lions" against Dodson, who is viewed as one of the show's top bantamweights. Josh Ferguson just calls T.J. a "pussy."
Succinct. I like that.
They try to announce the final fight before it's revealed that Delorme was sent to the emergency room because his foot started swelling up like he just saw David Lo Pan with a knife in his skull.
Time for the next fight and we get a bunch of contrasting training montages and Dodson mugs for the camera and this one is going to beat up that one and blah, blah, blah. You know the drill.
Let's fight already.
135 lbs.: John Albert (6-1) vs. John Dodson (11-5)
Round 1: Glove touch and Dodson is smiling. Bisping yells "hands tight" for the 6,472 time this season. They rush in, trade a few punches and back away. Hard low kick by Doddy. Nice push kick for "The Magician," who is darting in-and-out Frankie Edgar style -- and landing. Failed takedown attempt leads to a blitzkrieg of punches and Albert's in trouble. Dodson lighting him up on the feet and "Prince" goes for a desperation takedown and gets it, but the wily Dodson reverses and starts working from top. Dodson would be a terminator at 125 because he's so small but it hasn't stopped him from controlling this bantamweight fight. Albert back to his feet and lands two clean shots. Dodson smiling but looks tired. Hands tight! Fonzie-like "Ehhhhhhh" from the corner. We need a soundtrack, like a coach's corner megamix of bass (oots-oots-oots) "Ehhhhhhh, hands tight!" But I digress. They kind of lazily strike the last minute and a flying takedown with ten seconds left leads to a tumble to the ground. Dodson with E. Honda hammerfists until the buzzer. Nostradumbass has it 10-9 Doddy.
Round 2: Dodson with low kicks and a superman punch but the hangtime gets his feet kicked out from under him. Bisping: "Whoa-ehhhhhh!" Not too annoying ... One minute in and the tempo has slowed considerably. Lots of juking and jiving with intermittent strikes. Dodson really is a magician because my interest in this fight has disappeared. More circling, more sporadic striking. Strange moment as Bisping is heard shouting instructions but as the camera sweeps past him his lips aren't moving. Hmmmm. The fighters lock up and Albert tries to get fancy and jump on his back. Dodson doesn't fall and shakes him off. They get to their feet and Albert pushing the pace. Dodson gets close on the attack and uses the space for a takedown. Prince to his feet. One minute left and they're exhausted. Sloppy punches and kicks for the last 30 seconds and Dodson lands a huge takedown before time expires to steal the round on my card. 10-9 Doddy.
John Dodson def. John Albert via unanimous decision
After the fight, Dodson admits he fought conservatively and "cheated" his way through the fight. Then says "If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'."
Albert is a mess after the fight, afraid of having to get a real job because he couldn't get it done in his fight. Even though his team didn't win, it doesn't stop Bisping from taunting Team Miller.
Next week, Roland Delorme has a water balloon for a foot, T.J. Dillashaw pisses off his team for being cocky, Tito Ortiz makes a cameo and the semifinal fights are announced.
See you in seven!