Props to StrikerDave for the photoshop and bracket.
You heard it here first maniacs. MMAMANIA is sponsoring the first ever, and very first of it's kind, Grand Prix, open-weight tournament for the exclusive rights to win a date with Gina Carano. Miss Carano could not be reached for comment, but someone close to her was overheard saying... "As long as that LxxxN guy, er Deuce02, doesn't win she will probably agree."
MMAmania.com will provide LIVE blow-by-blow, round-by-round coverage of the MMGP, beginning with the streaming "Prelims" broadcast at 9 p.m. ET on MMAMania.com. We'll then roll right into the PPV telecast at 10 p.m. ET. Up-to-the-minute quick results of all the other under card action will begin to flow around 8 p.m. ET.
Many of our readers check-in before, during and after the televised action to share their thoughts on all the exciting action. Therefore, feel free to leave a comment or two before you leave and chat with all the other Maniacs during the show -- it always turns out to be a great discussion.
Keep in mind that we will also be the spot for the latest news, recaps and post-fight analysis after "ANS Wet Dream." Without further delay, see below for the latest MMGP results. (Note: This will go from the bottom up; therefore, scroll toward the bottom for the latest detailed round-by-round action:
More after the jump:
Betting Lines for the Grand Prix Round 1:
Ain'tNoSunshine -1,000 v. SilverFox +850
Jesse Holland -210 v. Deuce02 +180
OJR -150 v. Ulf Murphy +120
StrikerDave -180 v. Puckhead +160
And with that, ladies and gentlemen, we are off:
Ain'tNoSunshine v. SilverFox
Round1: Both men come out a little tentative, both seem to have a lot on their mind, but it doesn't take long for the overwhelming favorite of this tournament to remember what he is fighting for. As the men circle ANS unleashes a few vicious leg-kicks that have his opponent wondering how he was the unlucky recipient of the first round match versus the Greg Jackson trained fighter. The rest of the field is only hoping some damage can be inflicted to slow this juggernaut down. After the 5th leg-kick, SilverFox, no relation to Seth Petruzelli, comes down hobbling and ANS shoots for a slick double-leg takedown. From there it is academic as ANS transitions from side control into full mount and starts raining down heavy leather. SilverFox quickly turns over, gives up his back. ANS sinks in the hooks and latches on for a quick rear-naked choke victory.
Final Result: Ain'tNoSunshine defeats SilverFox via submission (rear naked choke) 3:32 Round 1 condolences to SilverFox as I have never heard of you and unless you are in the UFC, you can probably figure out who is going to win this. If you are in the UFC speak up and I will edit, after convincing proof. ;)
Jesse Holland v. Deuce02
Round1: Who would of ever thought a professional blogger and golf guru would be squaring off in this tournament? Both men circle, throwing heavy leather, looking to get out of here as unscathed as possible. With their semi-final opponent already set, who can blame them? Deuce02 is the first to land a significant blow and it looks like Holland is on queer street. Deuce02 quickly takes him down, but Holland, the wily veteran of many a
dog blog fight, quickly sweeps and comes out in top position. Neither seem to be able to gain an advantage, or land anything significant, from there and the round ends with Holland taking a 10-9 lead.
Round2: Deuce02 comes out with a purpose, knowing he is down, and quickly throws some leg kicks that hit their mark. OUCH. Deuce02 just landed a low-kick straight to Holland's junk. That might have been the worst "nut-job" I have ever seen. Cheick Kongo would be proud. The ref has given Holland his 5 minutes, but was unable to continue with his nuts in his throat.
Final Result: Jesse Holland defeats Deuce02 via disqualification (EPIC nushot) 1:17 Round 2. Gina Carano tweets that she will uphold her contractual obligations and go on a date with the winner.
OJR v. Ulf Murphy
Round1: All the pundits favored the Chicago resident due to the power of his goatee. Little did any of them know that Ulf Murphy has had the power of the goatee for almost 2 decades! OJR looks worried, as if his self-confidence is being questioned, but he is soon at ease and picking apart the older man with his superior boxing technique. Although doing little damage to the much larger man, OJR does enough to win the first round on points. 10-9 OJR
Round2: Nothing new from the first round. OJR pitter-patters his way to an easy round victory. 20-18 OJR. Murphy's fans, all 3 of them, are wondering if father time has finally caught up with their favorite fighter.
Round3: The Irishman, or Plastic Paddy as his opponent referenced leading into the fight, knows he cannot spend one more round getting pitter-pattered to death, so he immediately bull-rushes his foe, clinches and leans his heavier frame on the smaller man, pushing him against the fence. Murphy uses solid grappling technique to control OJR's right wrist to avoid more of the hardly-stinging jabs, and unleashes an INCREDIBLE Judo toss that lands the government employee on his head for a highlight KO that no one will soon forget. After the fight, Murphy was quoted as saying "That was for Joe six-pack. Even though my opponent had nothing to do with the government bail-out, I feel that I have done my part protecting the average American from the evils of government excess." The audience was left wondering where the hell that came from and how that is relevant to the question that was asked.
Final Result Ulf Murphy defeats OJR via KO (AWESOME JUDO SUPERTHROW) 0:47 Round 3 (It's my article I can win HOWEVER I want!)
StrikerDave v. Puckhead
Round1: StrikerDave, the San Fransisco Treat, runs to the center of the octagon quickly catches the oil man in a Muay Thai Plum and starts kneeing Puckhead in the face. Only the Canadian is a lot tougher than the rainbow colored warrior would ever had thought. Puckhead takes 8 or 9 direct knees to the cranium and starts laughing. He actually starts laughing. Puckhead completely turns the tide, it seems SD is a little psyched out, and channels his inner Bob Probert by throwing wild haymaker after wild haymaker, while SD lands some crisp accurate strikes that have Puck's face all busted up. I doubt this will go to the ground. As the round ends, Puck smiles a bloody smile at his foe as if to say "I took your best shot and you didn't take me out." StrikerDave 10-9 on the home scorecards.
Round2: The round opens with SD again doing his Muay Thai dance all around Puck peppering him with crisp jabs, good body kicks, and the occasional head kick. Puck takes all that SD is bringing, while continuing to swing wildly and aggressively. StrikerDave 20-18. Puck is a bloody mess.
Round3: A continuation of the first two rounds. SD has done everything in his power to end this fight quickly, but it appears as if He is starting to gas from the sheer output of strikes. Then BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE. SD is down. Puck finally landed flush with one of the wild haymakers and he is all over Dave raining down blows from the top, the side, and finally in full guard. It looks like Dave has recovered, but this one is going to the judges.
Final Result: Puckhead defeats StrikerDave via split decision 29-28, 29-28, 28-28. Puck Thanks Cecil Peoples, John Schorle and Leonard Garcia in his post-fight interview. Ulf Murphy breathes a deep sigh of relief.
Betting Lines for the Grand Prix Round 2:
Ain'tNoSunshine -1,000 v. Jesse Holland +850
Ulf Murphy -350 v. Puckhead +400
Jesse Holland Andrew Keller
It is apparent from the horrible, horrible low blow that Mr. Holland took in the opening frame, he will not be able to continue. Andrew Keller, first alternate for the tournament, will be taking his place. All betting is off as no one really has a gauge on the youngster from Minnesota
Round1: The favorite is again out of sorts as he did not expect to be facing a fresh opponent. Keller seems to be a well-oiled machine and it seems he realizes he the opportunity he has been given and, unlike Todd Duffee, is making this a fight. Both men circle, throwing blows to the right, and circle throwing blows to the left. ANS is getting better of the kicks, while Keller's length seems to be giving ANS some difficulty in finding the range for his fists. The first round is very tough to call.
Round2: ANS seems to be warmed up and all the hard work, dedication and especially Greg Jackson's gameplan seem to be giving him an edge. ANS is slowly showing why he was the favorite coming in as he is beating Keller to most punches and starting to really land with his left low-kick. Keller is looking desperate and shoots in for a single, but ANS catches his neck, pulls guard and cranks for all he is worth. You're not in
Kansas Minnesota anymore Keller. Keller taps.
Final Result: Ain'tNoSunshine defeats Andrew Keller via submission (Guillotine (No L's pronounced) choke) 4:55 Round 2.
Ulf Murphy v. Puckhead.
Round1: In a battle of veritable geriatrics, this fight starts off slow enough and gets even slower. It seems that those pitter-patter strikes of OJR really did some damage and StrikerDave's Muay Thai destruction of Puck ( although not according to two judges) have caught up with these two. Murphy seems to be the busier fighter, but Puckhead is again swinging for the fences. The round ends with the crowd booing terribly. Who cares the score, neither of these guys stand a chance in the final.
Round2: More of the same.
Round3: More of the same. This could go any way.
Final Result: Ulf Murphy defeats Puckhead by Unanimous Decision. Ulf thanks his goatee and gives a shout out to OJR for the confidence to believe.
Betting Lines for the Grand Prix Round 3:
Not even the off-the-strip Vegas books are taking bets on this.
Round1: "Man Against Boy", the headline read. It was not pretty. It was not long.
Final Result: Ain'tNoSunshine defeats Ulf Murphy via KO (strike) 0:03 Round 1.
ANS fulfilled his lifelong dream to date a women who was not only better looking than him, but also had a better professional record. No longer would he be best known for his fights in King of the Cage, Shark Fights or Shine Fights (not all of those are made up, BTW). He would be known as the guy who won a date with Gina Carano, completely won her over with his "nice guy" routine, impressed her with his AWESOME writing ability and genuine use of the word "bud". They went on to have some miraculously beautiful children that always asked Daddy what it felt like when Mommy beat him up. His response: "Like the luckiest man in the world"
Ulf Murphy was last seen in divorce court for being in a Grand Prix, to win a date with Gina Carano, unbeknownst to his wife.