Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em: Former rap star transitions to CEO of MMA Management Company
by Jesse Holland on Jul 30, 2010 6:02 PM EDT
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Props: MMA Weekly
Quoteworthy:
"I've been a fan of combat sports for years. MMA is the fastest growing sport in the world and this is a great opportunity for us to launch a full-service management company. Alchemist Management will leverage its relationships and resources for the benefit of fighters, the sponsors, and the industry at large."
Former rap icon MC Hammer is ready to turn this mother out now that he's formed the Los Angeles-based "Alchemist Management" company to represent mixed martial artists. So far they've managed to secure Nate Marquardt, Tim Kennedy, Vladimir Matyushenko, Jorge Rivera, James McSweeney, Antoni Hardonk, Jared Hamman, Steve Magdaleno, Luke Stewart, and Alex Soto, among others. Not a bad start. Yes, MC Hammer is representing professional fighters. That's why we pray.
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Epic photoshop
Going to church doesnt make you any more Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.
That's awesome Photoshop work!
Looks Like Hammer is teaching them a new form of the RopaDope!
by Danas A Crossdresser on Jul 30, 2010 8:00 PM EDT up reply actions
HAHAHAHA
Last line had me rolling on the floor. LOL
www.facebook.com/djpullout
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why would you want someone who went bankrupt after having millions to be part of your management?
I like the feeling of hunting down what I feed my family. If there’s a beast out there capable of hunting down Brock Lesnar, he would do it and make me the trophy on his den wall. But the laws of nature dictate that I’m going to be the one who goes into the wild and comes home with the evening’s bounty. - The #1 ranked HW in the world...
perhaps, the sweetest news of the week
Scratch that. Defintely the sweetest news of the week.
Like gravy, I got it all smoverred
Like makeup, I got it all coverred
by daniel worby on Jul 30, 2010 6:09 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
To legit, to legit to quit, hey, hey. TO L E G I …..ok ill stop………..
Shogun will have the longest championship reign in the UFC
wow marquardt really ?
Leg kicks are the most underrated weapon in MMA
by robinhorobson on Jul 30, 2010 6:38 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
whaaaaatever haters.
If he guaranteed he’d come out one fight with me in parachute pants (both of us) and that we could do the side to side shuffle in the cage in front of my opponent, I’d sign the dotted line.
And secure myself as the “best entrance of all time”…. Before getting KO’d silly.
Like gravy, I got it all smoverred
Like makeup, I got it all coverred
by daniel worby on Jul 30, 2010 6:48 PM EDT via mobile reply actions 1 recs
could you imagine your opponents face
If you and the MC are hands on knees in parachute pants in front of him doing the side shuffle? Fuck ya!
Like gravy, I got it all smoverred
Like makeup, I got it all coverred
by daniel worby on Jul 30, 2010 7:12 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I think you just sealed post of the week with that one Worby haha, doing the shuffle with MC Hammer as an entrance would be epic
Funniest story of the year by a mile, MC Hammer of all people being an MMA manager and actually signing up legitimate guys like Nate, Vlad and Kennedy. Unbelievable.
Break it down. Stop. Hammer time.
Classic.
I <3 Dana White, the Ruler and Savior of the MMA World, and will serve his disciple, Synyster, faithfully to the end.
wooooo! let the "rec" or "nominee" fly!
Or however you kids do this new fangled internet stuff. ;)
Like gravy, I got it all smoverred
Like makeup, I got it all coverred
by daniel worby on Jul 30, 2010 8:35 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
by Jesse Holland on Jul 30, 2010 9:16 PM EDT up reply actions
i think the 2nd girl in is trying to steal MC's thunder! shes dancin to her own beat!
That slut!
Like gravy, I got it all smoverred
Like makeup, I got it all coverred
by daniel worby on Jul 30, 2010 10:04 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I think it would make a post KO celebration even better.
The look of your opponents face and his corner after knocking him out, then doing the side to side shuffle! That would be all new levels of humiliation! Here comes the Hammer. Also, I will agree with Dave in stating that you most def. have the post of the week.
Florida Laws: 1- Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. 2-If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.3- You may not fart in a public place after 6 P. 4- Oral sex is illegal. 5-You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.
HDNet right now: Mike the Voice VS Mayhem Miller
Love these 1 hour sit down specials.
Like gravy, I got it all smoverred
Like makeup, I got it all coverred
by daniel worby on Jul 30, 2010 10:00 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
hahahha so many highlights on this episode
Someone has to watch this! When they talk about the SF riot in the cage!? Hahhaha Mike is fucking hilarious.
Like gravy, I got it all smoverred
Like makeup, I got it all coverred
by daniel worby on Jul 30, 2010 10:45 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
this is fucking retarded...every washed up celebrity wants to get in the mma biz...absolutely fucking retarded
mma has become the new gold for washed up people…if you are no longer relevant at what got you famous to begin with you take up mma..
look at canseco….hershal walker…ALL the washed up nfl players that were on the 10th season of tuf….these guys no longer can hang with the new blood of the sports that got them famous so instead of playing golf they decide to take up mma instead…its fucking sickening..
canseco cant play baseball anymore so he decides to take up mma…walker can no longer play with the nfl athletes of today so he takes up mma..all the washed up nfl players on tuf 10 can no longer hack it in the nfl so they take up mma…its fucking disgusting…
mc hammer can no longer sell records so he decides to start an mma promotion….these guys now look at mma as their retirement hobby…they say fuck golf, im taking up mma…
i guess next alice cooper will announce his desire to compete in mma…
the brockness monster grinds up teenagers and puts them in his protein shakes..and uses razor blades to chop toddlers up into lines to snort like meth...the reason no one can find bigfoot is because the brockness monster found him years ago and now has him in numerous ziplock bags in the back of his freezer...
im just waiting on bob sapp and brett michaels to announce theyve decided to try mma
hell todd bridges beat vanilla ice in a boxing match, go ahead and bring him in…maybe tonya harding can challenge sarah kaufmann in a year or too..she won a couple celebrity boxing matches and can no longer compete in skating….
if michael phelps sucks in the next olympics and doesnt win any gold medals why not bring him in too?
the brockness monster grinds up teenagers and puts them in his protein shakes..and uses razor blades to chop toddlers up into lines to snort like meth...the reason no one can find bigfoot is because the brockness monster found him years ago and now has him in numerous ziplock bags in the back of his freezer...
by HellaHectic on Jul 30, 2010 11:38 PM EDT up reply actions
*i meant warren sapp, not bob sapp
the brockness monster grinds up teenagers and puts them in his protein shakes..and uses razor blades to chop toddlers up into lines to snort like meth...the reason no one can find bigfoot is because the brockness monster found him years ago and now has him in numerous ziplock bags in the back of his freezer...
by HellaHectic on Jul 30, 2010 11:39 PM EDT up reply actions
hey the backstreet boys broke up...they dont have shit goin on...maybe they could train for a couple years with renzo gracie and have their first fight in 2013
the brockness monster grinds up teenagers and puts them in his protein shakes..and uses razor blades to chop toddlers up into lines to snort like meth...the reason no one can find bigfoot is because the brockness monster found him years ago and now has him in numerous ziplock bags in the back of his freezer...
by HellaHectic on Jul 30, 2010 11:40 PM EDT up reply actions
I'd rather see Bonaducci in stead of Bridges...
Although I don’t think Danny could pass the drug test to get in to the cage.
Florida Laws: 1- Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. 2-If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.3- You may not fart in a public place after 6 P. 4- Oral sex is illegal. 5-You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.
Hammer is starting a management agency, not a a promotion. There is definitely room for more good managers in this sport. He certainly can’t be any worse than Ken Pavia (and I don’t mean about the Bellator thing) or Vadim Finkelstein. Comparing him to retired athletes trying to start new careers as fighters is even more ridiculous. Also calling former NFL players “disgusting” for getting into MMA when they’re getting paid peanuts compared to what they made playing football is barely even worth responding to (I do agree Jose Canseco is kind of ridiculous). Anyway I don’t see why MC Hammer is getting all the hate here. If stories come out about him ripping off fighters, then trash talking would be warranted. I don’t see any reason not to give him the benefit of the doubt first though. Why, because he was a “celebrity,” he can’t possibly be a scrupulous talent agent?
yea and his experience with management put him millions in dept...what has he done in his past to prove to fighters that he can manage their careers and be profitable by doing so?
nothing…is he gonna negotiate with sponsors to get huge sponsors for fighters? is he gonna sit down with dana white and negotiate incredible salaries for his fighters? are u fucking kidding me? m1 global couldnt come to a deal with dana…you think mc fucking hammer is gonna tool dana in negotiations? u think mc fucking hammer is gonna tool scott coker in negotiations? he knows nothing about the mma business….zuffa and sf and m1 would totally tool this fucking idiot…he has NOTHING to leverage with…no experience to work with…dana, scott coker would fuck this dude up the ass so fucking bad
the brockness monster grinds up teenagers and puts them in his protein shakes..and uses razor blades to chop toddlers up into lines to snort like meth...the reason no one can find bigfoot is because the brockness monster found him years ago and now has him in numerous ziplock bags in the back of his freezer...
by HellaHectic on Jul 31, 2010 12:53 AM EDT up reply actions
who the fuck is backing him financially?
the brockness monster grinds up teenagers and puts them in his protein shakes..and uses razor blades to chop toddlers up into lines to snort like meth...the reason no one can find bigfoot is because the brockness monster found him years ago and now has him in numerous ziplock bags in the back of his freezer...
by HellaHectic on Jul 31, 2010 12:54 AM EDT up reply actions
Your argument is extremely confused and all over the place. First off, M-1 Global got Dana White to offer the biggest contract in the history of MMA to Fedor. They just wanted co-promotion on top of that. They actually are extremely good at milking other promotions out of their money (they milked the fuck out of Affliction with a number of fighters). They’re just leaches for Fedor though.
Also, why do you think it’s the manager’s job to “tool” a promoter in negotiations, or a promoter’s impetus to “tool” the manager? Do you even know what a manager’s job entails? You really don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I doubt MC Hammer would make a big impact on a fighter’s downside guarantee in Zuffa, but most of the salary for any given fighter is gonna come from sponsorships, which is the manager’s job to secure. They also secure clauses in their contract for things like guaranteed televised fights, per-diems, whether a fighter has to make their own travel arrangements, not to mention simply just securing bookings for the non-Zuffa fighters. Strange how you seem to think MC Hammer is an idiot when he’s made tens of millions of dollars in the music industry though.
The thing I like about Hammer...
….is he knows how to laugh at himself. Dude’s an epic cautionary tale, but he knows it and rolls with it. That’s character.
where u at bitches?????????
the brockness monster grinds up teenagers and puts them in his protein shakes..and uses razor blades to chop toddlers up into lines to snort like meth...the reason no one can find bigfoot is because the brockness monster found him years ago and now has him in numerous ziplock bags in the back of his freezer...
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