MMA : What Grinds Your Gears?

When Goldie says, “one could argue that round 1 went to x and round 2 went to y, so this is the deciding round!”

Refs that suck, fighters that call out guys that they’ll never fight because they’re not in the same org, and fighters making excuses.

2 fighters are rolling about on the floor like girls, sissies and the like, and just can’t stand up and duke it out like men, thats what i hate about mma.(or love about mma)…..

It’s sad when you gotta remind ppl who you are.

when Rogan called Sexyama’s and Couture’s wins over Belcher and Vera “robberies” in front of all the fans and the PPV.
when Fedor/Anderson/GSP/Brock wins (its not that I dont like them, I just dont like some guys going on LOOONG ass undefeated streaks)(except Gegard Mousasi, cuz i like him)
when belts aren’t defended for 9 straight ppvs (like from 101-110 we only saw 3 title fights BJ/Kenny, BJ/Diego, Shogun/Machida)
when i win the first 2 fights on a parlay and lose the last one
when i fall asleep trying to watch Dream live
GSP’s new ground and pound (as opposed to the Sean Sherk and finishing of Matt Hughes @ 65 GNP)
Rampage being hyped as a super power striker (even though he’s only recently KO’d Eastman, Chuck and Wand [guys who are recently getting KO’d left and right], and couldn’t put away Hendo, Forrest, or Jardine)
Rich Franklin not being able to gain any momentum
Gerry Millen and anything he does or says
im sure there’s more, but we’ll leave it at that for now

Whenever someone refers to Tito Ortiz as a “businessman”.

Whenever a fighter brings his mom to speak on his behalf to an athletic commision.

Whenever a guy whose only victories have come against a 59 year-old Randy Couture, Heath Herring, and Fwank Mir is hailed as the best HW ever.

Whenever Moron Ranallo starts using his fake-ass “broadcaster voice”.

Whenever retards hate on fighters not in the UFC, then get all excited when they join the UFC.

Whenever fans try to explain how their favorite fighter was unjustly found to have steroids in his system. “They were prescribed by a doctor, he had a sore throat, someone put them in his drink”, etc.

Whenever the MMA media display how intimidated they are by Dana White by blindly kissing his ass. Ahem.

Whenever some mongoloid tries to prove a point by insisting that he’s been watching MMA since 1988.

Whenever MMA fans and media hate on boxing as if the two sports can’t coexist.

Whenever people seriously discuss the the contents of Nick Diaz’ latest interview.

Everything Rampage has said in the last 12 months.

The term “rape choke”.

Showdown Joe.

Douchy MMA T-shirts.

Whenever some mongoloid tries to prove a point by insisting that he’s been watching MMA since 1988

Whenever Moron Ranallo starts using his fake-ass "broadcaster voice".

-When MMA fans are hypocrites. (Boxing vs MMA, when boxing is a huge part of MMA)

-Anyone crying over a decision loss. Don’t let it go to decision next time, moron.

-Anyone crying over a quick stoppage. The refs, in many cases may suck, but thay are all we got, and Big John or Herb can’t be everywhere at once.

-Anything Mike Goldberg says.

-BJ Penn’s mom. Because her boy couldn’t have just gotten his ass handed to him.

-Anything Matt Hughes says. Fucking Jesus hypocrite, the worst kind. Go read your fucking bible and let me make my own decisions.

-YUS! Weird Zen shit.

-Everybody having a fucking nickname. I propose an MMA law saying that you do not get a nickname until you reach 10 wins or have a highlight reel something that confirms your nickname. And if all of a sudden you suck, you are not allowed to use it anymore. Yes, I am talking to you Mike ‘Dan Hardy KnockedMeTheFuckOut because I am no longer Quick’ Swick.

And last but not least…

-M-1 – Because I do not get the chance to know if Fedor is better than Mir, JDS, Cain, Carwin, or Lesnar, even though I think at least one of them can beat him, but won’t believe it until I see it and am sick of arguing about it. (how’s that for a run-on sentence?)

“Don’t let it go to decision next time, moron.” -Decisions are part of the sport. Judges should be accountable, but fighters should be trying to finish also.

But you redeemed yourself with:
-Everybody having a fucking nickname. I propose an MMA law saying that you do not get a nickname until you reach 10 wins or have a highlight reel something that confirms your nickname. And if all of a sudden you suck, you are not allowed to use it anymore. Yes, I am talking to you Mike ‘Dan Hardy KnockedMeTheFuckOut because I am no longer Quick’ Swick.

When people say “never let a fight go into the hands of the judges” to justify a terrible decision, sorry people not all fights can end in stoppages. That doesn’t mean that a guy deserves to lose a fight simply because they didn’t finish it.

When people dismiss top strikers as only having a “puncher’s chance” in a fight. Would you say that a BJJ practitioner or a dominant wrestler only has a “grappler’s chance”? Didn’t think so. There’s no such thing as a lucky punch, you don’t accidentally KO someone in a fight. That’s just a lazy excuse to criticise an underdog for winning a fight or a striker for being able to do what he is the best at.

When people criticise the skillset of the p4p greats Andy, Fedor, GSP and BJ. It’s laughable that they get criticised for not fighting in the division that people want or for winning a fight the wrong way. Quite frankly they are the best 4 MMAsts that the sport has ever seen and none of the criticism makes any sense, it just makes you look bitter and jealous.

When fighters or fans make excuses for a defeat, I don’t care what your training was like or whether you have any injuries part of the job is being physically and mentally prepared to take on and defeat your opponent, if you couldn’t get into shape or weren’t ready then tough shit you blew it before the fight. If you can’t make the weight or stay healthy then you’re obviously not cut out to be one of the best fighters in the world and whining about what might have been is just holding you back.

When referees stand-up fights for no reason, simply because the crowd is booing because the drunks don’t appreciate the grappling aspect of the sport. Referees shouldn’t have the power to dictate where a fight takes place simply because they’re bored, that’s insane. You don’t see a referee in a football match deciding that the other team deserves possession because those with the ball aren’t doing enough to entertain him. The ref should only be there to keep a fight fair and safe, the last thing on their mind should be how entertaining a fight is. Top grapplers have lost fights because a ref has taken away their dominant position for no reason and that can be the difference between them winning titles or being unemployed. It really takes away from the legitimacy of the sport.

I could go on all day doing Peter Griffin “grinds my gears” rants about MMA, but I’ll stick with this top 5 of pet hates. Trust me there are a lot more that I have but I’ll leave it at that at least for now.

Great post David, but I have to take issue with this statement:

There’s no such thing as a lucky punch,

A statement which has become quite commonplace around here.

Allow me to clarify.

There IS such a thing as a lucky punch. Ask any pro boxer. The only ones who deny the existence of lucky punches are the guys who suck, and therefore know any win they get against a high-level opponent will likely be the result of one.

If you have boxed in the gym, you will know from sparring that there are guys you can school every time you get in there, and one time out of twenty he wings a wild right hook at you and you walk into it.

Here is the crux of the argument: just because you were trying to do something, doesn’t mean if you achieve it you didn’t get lucky.

People say, “b-b-b-but he was aiming for his head with the punch! It j-j-j-just can’t be lucky.” Sure it can. I was aiming for the hole all day on the golf course. If I hit a hole-in-one, did I get lucky? Of course I did. And the fact that I was aiming for the hole doesn’t change that, does it?

How many times have you watched a hockey game where a seeing-eye shot finds it’s way off traffic in front and into the back of the net, and a team that was totally outclassed for the entire game ends up winning?

Wait, you’re English. The hockey analogy ain’t gonna fly.

Here’s the deal. If you can only accomplish a given task one time out of a hundred attempts, the time you accomplished it you got lucky. If you fight a guy who will school you 99 times out of a hundred, and the hundredth time you connect and drop him, you got lucky. Because you couldn’t do it again if your life depended on it.

That’s why the striking arts are so intriguing. We all realize that no matter how unlikely, a combination of human error or good fortune on either of the combatants’ part could result in a stunning conclusion. It’s one of the reaons we watch.

The better you are and the more intelligently you fight, the less the chances of luck deciding the fight come into play. And fights are very rarely decided by luck alone. But luck is always a possible contributing factor, and fans need to realize that.

The poor ass coverage here in the USA.

The lack of a pre show and post show on UFC PPV’s.

The Main Events you wish were 5 Rounders.

The way in which he stops fights. I hate it when he steps in, crotch first, and waves both arms in the air. With the adrenaline running through the fighters, they have no idea the fight is being stopped and get a few more unnecessary shots off, while they got Herbs nuts in their face. I noticed this a long time ago, and its so annoying. He should worry less about signaling to the crowd and worry more about ending the beatdown.

I also hate when these refs step in to stop a fight due to choke and they either tap the guy on the shoulder (like he’s really gonna notice??) or when they try to pry them apart by tugging on the passed out dude’s arm. These guys should be fully-trained on exactly how to stop a fight. Half the time they just jump in and just start pullin limbs, when they should be FORCIBLY pullin off the choking arm.

Also, I hate Houston traffic! Haha!

its a combat sport. Let them talk smack and act like idiots, its way more entertaining than " i respect my opponent and his skills, he is a very dangerous opponent and i am training hard for him" in a french canadian accent

From the Trailer Park Boys: The mysterious winds of shit that bring with it only shit luck and other shit. When you just know that all kinds of shit are gonnna happen. The shit really hits the fan when the winds of shit are blowing. Normally, the strongest winds of shit can be found in a shit hurricane. Also, keep an eye out for shit hawks, which may take advantage of the incredible thermals produced from the winds of shit.
Lahey: “You know what a shit barometer is, Bubs?”
Bubbles: “…No.”
Lahey: “Measures the shit pressure in the air. You can feel it! Listen Bubs, hear that? Sounds of the whispering winds of shit.
…Beware, my friend. Shit winds are a coming.”

10) Fans that think they can run the UFC better than Dana, Latest example “If I ran the UFC I would pay all the fighters millions of dollars and make sure they all had health care”
9) fans that judge fighters abilities by the way they act outside the octagon? Yes Mir is a cocky SOB but he is a good fighter regardless
8) Fans that think they know everything and if you disagree with them they will turn to childish name calling insults to back up their arguement and their ego
7) The first 40 minutes of TUF
6) Hypocrites
5) The Spelling Police that make spelling mistakes
4) Bad judging
3) Non Title fights when the champion is fighting
2) Anti MMA media
1) M1 Global --Really who the F is M1 and why would anyone co promote with an organization that can’t promote themselves!?

The shit rush tornado never found us.

Sardines horrible beard, face and bald head
The difference is drinkability (worst use of the English language ever)
The Machida Shogun decision
All SF commentary
Sean Salmon
Frank Shamrock
Shitty cards put on in the UK

Frank Shamrocks face and voice.
Nipple tweaking.
Most booing at events(some cases are warranted i.e. Kalib)
The fans who act crazy when the camera is on them.
People who say GSP is boring.
People who bring up the WWF whenever Brock is mentioned.

Most booing at events(some cases are warranted i.e. Kalib) Or Thales Leites – I was there, and booed for the first time ever.

I’ll add…Everything Frank Trigg.

i didnt mind the booing at jake but usally it makes me want to slap a drunk

1. people who claim mma is barbaric but don’t take the time to see it for the wicked sport that it is..the term human cock fighting (ok start the gay jokes) that people compare it to..
2. people who think they can instantly fight because they are fans of mma..
3. unnecessary booing makes me mad..
4. bad reffing..bad judge scoring..
5. the new ring girl for the ufc
6. when threads turn into a bitch fest that has nothing to do with the topic..
7. how much shit i get for looking at this site too much..from my man and my daughter..they call me obsessed..gee is that fair! luckily my boy is too young to care!!

Sarah, I wish more girls were obsessed.

Nuf said

Showdown Joe

None of them are.

DANA NUT HUGGERS ARE DUMB.
They grind my gears for not being smart MMA fans.

Read about it HERE.

You know the ones…..those that say;

1. Penn won the first fight clearly because he put GSP in the hospital (due to an eye poke)
2. Penn won the second fight because GSP should have been DQ’d because he lathered himself in mazola, vaseline, KY, etc prior to and during the fight because nobody can escape BJ’s guard
3. Penn should fight GSP again because he should have won both of the first fights
4. They will not admit the obvious like he was OWNED during the second fight by GSP
5. They disagree with everyone regarding facts about both fights and if they know in their own mind they lost the arguement, they shoot out the proverbial “he applied grease to his whole body”.
6. Their “reality” connection in their brains are incorrectly wired as there is no sense of reality – they are completely delusional

Now I do like Penn, especially the Penn of late, but you have to admit that he was owned and there is no need for any rematch so quit bringing that BS up. The equivalent would be saying that Griffin should have won the fight against Anderson Silva because it was close or that GSP never lost to Serra because that was an illegal blow behind the ear.

The only adjective they can come up with for Melvin Guillard is Explosive so they use it ad nauseam.

-people who call the ground game “gay porn”
-people who call Rampage a baby killer
-people who call GSP a cheater
-people who think any fight more than 6 months ago is “irrelevant” to a fighters resume/capabilities.
-people who list rooks like Bones and Dufee when naming top contenders, esp Dufee with his 6-seconds in the majors.
-bad winners and post-fight disrespect from A-holes like Brock, Tito, Diaz
-fighters who call their mamas to tell the judge how big bad GSP tried to kill her son
-fighters who really don’t care if they seriously damage their opponents
-fights getting stopped prematurely, especially over stupid cuts
-CHEATERS
-so-called champions who use maneuvering and manipulation to hand-pick opponents
-great matchups getting screwed up, prevented, or corrupted by the weight-cutting factor
-all the disgusting gay terminology on MMA blogs “nut-hugging” “cock swinging” and oral/anal images I won’t even repeat.