Mixed Martial Arts, 90210
I never thought I'd be nostalgic for Billy Blanks.
Like every other new kid on the mainstream block, Hollywood has wasted little time pillaging the success of the UFC and mixed martial arts (MMA) with an impotent portrait of teen angst titled Never Back Down.
From what I could tolerate of the trailer, I think I can summarize the plot:
Boy moves to new town. Boy meets Girl. Boy gets assaulted by Dominant Male. Girl Frowns. Boy learns how to kick ass from Brooding Mentor. Boy and Girl find love. Boy gets revenge on Dominant Male. Girl smiles.
Pretty complex stuff, but somehow I nailed it.
This shouldn't be confused with the D.O.A. Never Submit, a thrown-together and ham-handed script that eventually did submit - to its own stupidity.
It should however be confused with The Karate Kid, Showdown and The Power Within - since they're basically all the same movie.
Never Back Down was written by Chris Hauty and Robert Munic. Haughty is credited with the script for Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco. Munic as the co-star of Stunt C*cks.
Somewhere between runaway pets and runaway boners you have the recipe for a good MMA movie. Or so they'll tell you at Summit Entertainment.
I could go on and on about how ridiculous the plot is but hey, that's what the trailer is for.
I will say how disappointed I am to see the talented Djimon Hounsou mired in this dreck. Brilliant in Amistad, he turns in a performance so rigid it reminds me of Old Chief Woodenhead from 1987's Creepshow 2.
David Mamet is also trying his hand at MMA with the upcoming Redbelt. While the jury's still out on how well it will depict the sport of MMA, the casting of Tim Allen in the lead role doesn't give me that warm, fuzzy feeling.
Until then I guess we'll have to settle for Never Back Down. Unless of course anyone wants to join me for a private screening of Gymkata.
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40 comments
Comments
Oh man, this looks bad for mma. These kinds of jokes will not help the cause.
by The Anomaly on Dec 18, 2007 1:43 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Karate kid, No Retreat No Surrender, Lionheart, and fast and furious all rolled into one. it’ll be TERRIBLE but we will all see it as soon as its released.
by bushswinger on Dec 18, 2007 1:56 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I thought this was brought to us from the maker’s of “Set It Off” or “Bring It On” or “Stomp The Yard”, I’m surprised Eric Roberts isn’t in it.
by sycboi on Dec 18, 2007 1:56 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Don’t worry Anomaly…I take care of the vets around here. Just refresh and you should be back in business.
by Jesse Holland on Dec 18, 2007 1:57 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
was it that difficult to find a convincing villain?hahaha oh yes skinny white guy weighing in at 150 lbs looks so scary.hahahaha f*ck this movie it looks like poop!I’ll stick to the real thing not some pathetic piece of sh*t that people who get shoved in lockers will have hard-ons for.
by suspiria on Dec 18, 2007 2:14 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Don’t worry Anomaly…I take care of the vets around here. Just refresh and you should be back in business.
Got my back man. If I ever get into some shady business in over my head, I know where to turn to. And that’s Jesse Holland.
by The Anomaly on Dec 18, 2007 3:17 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
As the Corellian said to the Wookiee, “I dunno, Chewie. I have a bad feeling about this.”
What about “Big Stan?” If you’re gonna pinch off a loaf, at least make it interesting.
by Korean Avenger on Dec 18, 2007 3:26 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
this movie is a joke. People see the money mma is bringing in and then they jump on the bandwagon and make some piece of shit just for $$$$$ .. I bet the writer/director/producer all have no intrest in mma just the cash around it.
by Sour Diesel on Dec 18, 2007 3:48 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Wow, so negative. It could bring MMA to a new generation. I wish it well. Yeah it seems like a rip off of all the movies that were named, but most of those are 20 years old. You guys are dating yourselves. And old people are not the target audience, so relax guys.
by theCloser on Dec 18, 2007 5:16 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Probly corny but I would still watch it.
rick
by hairless1 on Dec 18, 2007 6:53 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Gymkata was one of my favorite movies back in the day,i’m down mania to come by an watch it. than after that i have “Bloodsport” on blue ray disc who’s coming?
by White Rhino on Dec 18, 2007 7:01 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Theres a actor forgot his name got hurt training MMA style,it was in the paper,he played in “a time to kill”Matthew McConaughey the movie is called…..wait for it “THE GRACKLE” mania you heard about this one?
by White Rhino on Dec 18, 2007 7:05 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Is the Billy Blanks reference to the movie “Showdown”? Same thing as this one apparently.
by copperhead on Dec 18, 2007 7:56 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
How are you guys gonna post this, but not the sweet ass trailer for Beyond the Ring that I sent you twice last week?
by Lance on Dec 18, 2007 8:02 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
The worst thing about this (if there is anything worse than a horrible movie) is that it promotes the idea of unregulated fighting, precisely the opposite direction in which MMA has been going during its current growth. A really dumb and backwards way to “promote” MMA.
by arodofiron on Dec 18, 2007 8:26 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
This is the kind of shit that Hollywood pumps out during writers’ strikes. This is nothing more than lazy L.A. hacks trying to cash in on the popularity of legitimate MMA. The script is pathetically simple and formulaic, as detailed in Mania’s original thread. Throw in a few fast cars, gratuitous boob shots and some horribly unrealistic fight scenes, and you have a movie.
by pw on Dec 18, 2007 9:22 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Here’s the film/TV bio of the bad guy. Reeeeeaaaallll intimidating. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1544217/
by pw on Dec 18, 2007 9:27 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I smell an Oscar, Hillary Swank is a two time oscar winner and she was The Next Karate Kid, which was even worse than the previous 3. I dont know what that has to do with the price of rice, but my favorite part in this movie was when the bully was showing his buddies the tai clinch at school, and then he just goes around kicking everyones ass just because he can, he makes Johnny from the Cobrai kai look like a puss
by mma dude on Dec 18, 2007 10:04 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I thought this was brought to us from the maker’s of “Set It Off” or “Bring It On” or “Stomp The Yard”, I’m surprised Eric Roberts isn’t in it.
I was actually thinking Fast and the Furious; maybe not the original, but def one of the sequels. I think I smell an Oscar. Oh, no wait, that’s just dog sh*t.
by Mahde on Dec 18, 2007 10:28 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I smell an Oscar, Hillary Swank is a two time oscar winner and she was The Next Karate Kid, which was even worse than the previous 3. I dont know what that has to do with the price of rice, but my favorite part in this movie was when the bully was showing his buddies the tai clinch at school, and then he just goes around kicking everyones ass just because he can, he makes Johnny from the Cobrai kai look like a puss
Don’t you dare say anything like that about William Zabka ever! He’s the greatest 80s movie villain of all time.
by pw on Dec 18, 2007 10:41 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
haha pw, he was, Karate Kid and Just One Of the Guys, which has an aweosme boob scene when she reveals shes a girl, he was a legit badass..haha..but yeah, that dude is a pretty succesful director now as well
by mma dude on Dec 18, 2007 11:43 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I thought this was brought to us from the maker’s of “Set It Off” or “Bring It On” or “Stomp The Yard”, I’m surprised Eric Roberts isn’t in it.
Funny stuff, but seriously this movie is going to change the world
by Cliff Huckstable on Dec 18, 2007 11:49 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
this movie is a joke. People see the money mma is bringing in and then they jump on the bandwagon and make some piece of shit just for $$$$$ .. I bet the writer/director/producer all have no intrest in mma just the cash around it.
The director has trained bjj for 5 years
by Cliff Huckstable on Dec 18, 2007 11:51 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
The worst thing about this (if there is anything worse than a horrible movie) is that it promotes the idea of unregulated fighting, precisely the opposite direction in which MMA has been going during its current growth. A really dumb and backwards way to “promote” MMA.
Thats the problem they dont care whether it promotes the sport or not. They just want to strike while the iron is hot
by Cliff Huckstable on Dec 18, 2007 11:53 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
i was just looking at msn.com and it said that Mathew McConhnay was injured and recieved stitches training “Ultimate Fighting Style” for a movie…i wonder if the movie has anything to do with mma, i also wonder if he was training with any big names, know anything about it mania? not that it matters, kinda interesting
by mma dude on Dec 18, 2007 12:52 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
How are you guys gonna post this, but not the sweet ass trailer for Beyond the Ring that I sent you twice last week?
http://www.filmdrunk.com/post.phtml?pk=766
LOL …. Uh, probably due to production quality. Busey doesn’t even help the casting…which reminds me:
“Kids, never ever ride without a helmet.”
The sad part is the Never Back Down trailer is probably 10 times better than the movie. At least there is some TnA eye candy to get you through this complete waste of film.
It’s about money, popularity and demographics…nothing else. Probably the 1st of many. Get used to movies about illegal MMA fighting and terms like bloodsport.
by SaVaGe on Dec 18, 2007 1:08 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
How are you guys gonna post this, but not the sweet ass trailer for Beyond the Ring that I sent you twice last week?
http://www.filmdrunk.com/post.phtml?pk=766
Wow bro. this is another Gem. i know what all my friends are getting for christman now.
by bushswinger on Dec 18, 2007 1:46 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
sounds just as shitty as weapon(aka universal soldier 4) staring rich franklin can we say strait to dvd movie ha ha
by zack the lumberjack on Dec 18, 2007 2:09 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Its sad when Hollywood butchers reality. Everybody that practices MMA knows that its nothing but sweaty gyms, blood, sweat, sacrifice, and more sweat. Nothing glamorous about the lifestyle other than the moment of victory in the fight. Seriously, I have about 10 girls at my mma gym and more than half of them are butch lesbians. I’ve never had some supermodel chick been remotely interested in combat sports at all.
by bostonmmajunkie on Dec 18, 2007 2:44 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
sounds just as shitty as weapon(aka universal soldier 4) staring rich franklin can we say strait to dvd movie ha ha
can you say Kelly Kapwoski…Ace is going to finsh what Zack Morris and Leon Phelps (aka The Ladies Man) couldnt…full frontal nudity and Im adding it to my collection
by mma dude on Dec 18, 2007 3:17 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Someone needs to write an MMA movie like boxing has Rocky or Million Dollar Baby… A movie where the sport is not the story but the fighter’s internal turmoil is.
This is why everyone makes fun of kung fu movies!!!
by RHV on Dec 18, 2007 3:47 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
I just lost so much respect for Djimon Hounsou. what a lame trailer.
by THORAZINE on Dec 18, 2007 4:00 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
It’s shit like this that make me pine for a special edition of “Showdown in Little Tokyo.” Yes, damnit, I liked that steaming loaf.
by Korean Avenger on Dec 18, 2007 6:57 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
I can not watch fake mma. I pass.
by Jesse Canadian MMA on Dec 18, 2007 9:26 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Did I ever mention that I once got involved with timed laps photography? ,
by John74 on Oct 22, 2009 4:38 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

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