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Recap: The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) 5 episode 2

TUF 5 manvel gamburyan vs noah thomas
By Jesse Holland
Special to UFCmania

Episode 2 of The Ultimate Fighter 5 is underway and we start with a quick recap of Cole's win over Allen from last week. The fighters weigh-in with their analysis of the fight and they're breaking it down like it was Griffin/Bonnar 1.

Cole openly weeps as he explains that his eight-year plan to be in the UFC was accomplished in three years. He then exclaims, "I'm in the UFC!" and weeps some more. Some part of me really hopes he makes it all the way because if this is how he reacts to winning then God help us when he loses.

Team Pulver decides to create a belt and title for Cole that will be passed around to each winner from Team Pulver after every victory. I'm all for positive reinforcement but this is getting a little weird.

Back at the house Allen returns from defeat and calls a meeting. After rallying the troops (who think they're gathered to say adieu) he stands up and declares that despite his loss he will remain in the house to train and hang out for the remainder of the season. Not surprisingly, his announcement is met with a lukewarm response. Who wants a house full of eliminated fighters partying all night while you're trying to sleep?

Star-divide

Gabe continues to endear himself to everyone by starting trouble with Matt over ... well, I'm not sure what it's over. I guess the cameras started rolling on a slow day at the house. Matt responds by calling Gabe a fat pig that's 22 pounds overweight. Hard to argue with those numbers.

At the fight selection BJ realizes he hasn't been doing enough to annoy Jens and gives Emerson a script that calls out Corey. Emerson does his part as Corey starts to get rattled but Jens is onto BJ at this point and instructs Manny to call out Noah amidst the proliferation of badgering.

Next we see some of the guys out back talking shop when one of them spots two girls on horseback. They start hootin' and hollerin' like a couple of Unionites at a construction site and miraculously the girls agree to stop by. Does anyone else smell a plant? Well whatever the circumstances are nobody is prepared for the effect a paved driveway has on horseshoes.

One of the horses collapses and can't move so the gang gets a carpet and they cautiously get the horse to stand up and get back to the street. All that was missing was the fast-forward and goofy British music and we could have had a Benny Hill skit. I start to realize at this point that if this is the stuff that's making the air then we must have a very quick fight later on.

I'm relieved when we get to the training session for Team Penn but instead of seeing how Noah prepares for his fight with Manny we get more of the Gabe/Matt saga. BJ has to intervene and expresses his frustration and disappointment that two fighters are acting this way.

Hey BJ, try being on this end.

They kick it over to the training session for Team Pulver and what can only be referred to as the most uncomfortable moment in TUF history, Manny is performing sit-ups Kama Sutra style as he straddles Corey who is standing up. Each rep brings them face to face while Manny's gear mashes against ... oh nevermind.

But let it be known they finish with a hug – while straddled.

In fact, I haven't been this suspicious since Season 3 when Tito wore a prom dress to a sparring session (he later claimed it was a Rashie but no Rashie I've ever seen had glitter woven into the fabric).

At the fighter weigh-ins Noah talks about his Marine Corps training and how he has more than 40 professional fights. I half expected a big, smoky green head to tell me to pay no attention to the 10-4 record behind the curtain. Noah defiantly steps on the scales eating a Dagwood.

Manny is not amused.

The next day we see Team Penn lazing around the house after BJ gives them the day off. Emerson channels the New Age Outlaws and scribbles "Suck It" on the wall and adds "Team Pulver" so that the boys in yellow feel welcome after a hard day at the gym.

Upon arrival Nate decides that's all the excuse he needs (that and a camera in the same room) to take his shirt off and hulk-up. Refusing to be upstaged by a Diaz, Manny rips his shirt off and starts screaming, and screaming, and screaming ad nauseam. Did I mention that Manny was screaming? I think Matt summed it up best by saying, "It was a sad day for humans".

Manny finally cools down and meets Corey by the pool out back. Apparently the sit-ups were still on his mind because Corey said "I love you" (I'm not kidding) and that Manny let the Penn boys beat him emotionally. Once again they end with a hug. Not to keep hearkening back to Season 3 so much but one more hug and Corey is going to be delivering peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to Manny in bed.

Fight day finally rolls around and once again it's 10:54pm. I'm starting to wonder when those awesome fights we were promised are going to show up. Round 1 begins and Manny comes out ferociously. He drops Noah right away but Noah is able to recover. Manny pushes him into the fence and throws him to the ground. He starts to pound away and finds an arm to crank. Manny wins by kimura and looks good in the process.

Noah was dead on arrival.

That's a wrap and overall I was disappointed. This episode was more "Real World" than UFC and to be honest I tune in for the fights -- not the drama. And where was Dana? I know it's only Episode 2 but with the Episode 1 ratings on life support I hope it gets better in a hurry.

Check us out next week for a Team Penn meltdown and a visit from Jeremy Horn. Gabe goes colonic and Corey unravels yet again. See you then!

0 recs  |  Comment 36 comments

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Pulvers team rules they will keep strong for atleast the next 2 fights for sure.

They are content to not pick the over weight guy as hes stiring up enough crap internally…

There was no doubt in my mind Manny wouldnt submit the army guy, both of Penns guys look like you just took em off the street. Pulver picked all fighters with good out of TUF training. That gets everyone through the first round, but it will slowly be what happens and who trains with who in the House.

by Robin on Apr 13, 2007 8:02 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

WELL SO FAR SO GOOD,BUT COME ON THEY WROTE SUCK IT ON THE WALL BIG FUCKING DEAL.YOUR GOING TO BASICALY GIVE UP A CHANCE TO MAKE MILLIONS TO FIGHT SOMEBODY OVER WRITINGS ON THE WALL.I DON’T UNDERSTAND BUT I CAN’T WAIT TILL NEXT WEEK

by STAND AND BANG on Apr 13, 2007 8:09 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

These guys are Cry babies. I have never seen a group of guys cry so much. And what is up with that dude gabe i hope he gets his ass beat bad.

by jimmy on Apr 13, 2007 8:27 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Nate Diaz is straight GANGSTA SON! What a bunch of ‘make an image on TV’ bitches.

Manny looked good in the fight, but the question is how good is this Noah Thomas cat either way? Dude definately has some power, compared to the likes of Sherk… no way. And does he have the standup to play with other bangers? I doubt it… but good showing by his dominance.

I think I called it right when I saw Penn wheeping like an emo kid @ the fight night.

by Luppers on Apr 13, 2007 9:44 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

For months I have been barraged with all the talk of how classy GSP and Serra are as the UFC tries to break the image of fighters as goons.

Then I get this show.These guys look like a bunch of savage street kids. Half the dialog is bleeped. No maturity. No class.

I actually got up and started surfing the net about 5 minutes into the beep-fest that was “Team Pulver Sucks” and stayed there listening to the TV until the fight started. The one in the octagon. Boring stuff.

I am not offended by swearing and highschool behavior all that much. People talk like that all the time and it has made me keenly aware of how much i swear. However, if i wanted to watch guys pose down and swear at each other i would go to a bar, have some beers and hang out near the pool table. As a matter of fact, thats what this show reminds me of, a bar scene with refs and weigh-ins.

Not the most compelling television.

by J on Apr 13, 2007 9:46 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

this show sucks
the drama is funny though. i want to bang with these guys i could probsbly make atleast half of them cry. damn are these guys on estrogen pills or something. the fights are c- or d fights. this last one atleast had one fighter in the cage instead of a lobster guy and a mediocre baby.

by neopaladin01 on Apr 13, 2007 10:14 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

This show is bad.Bunch of fuckin females

by The Man on Apr 13, 2007 10:30 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

If the fight next week is as good as they are saying i may make it until the end of the season, but at the rate it is moving……..

Maybe it will become a “Tune in the last 15 minutes” kinda show for me

by J on Apr 13, 2007 10:40 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

The only people who have anything thoughtful or intelligent to say keep getting eliminated. The rest are a bunch of thugs and punk-asses (I’m looking at you, Diaz) or cry-babies. They’re almost as bad as that loser on Season 2 (Ithink it was Season 2) who chose to go home to try to salvage his relationship with his girlfriend of 6 months rather than fight in the semi-finals.

by PW on Apr 13, 2007 10:46 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Smart move by penn to work those guys out so hard on day one… He got to see which guys have talent. I see some similarities between BJ and Ken Shamrock. BJ is already giving his guys days off, and it just doesn’t seem like he is a serious guy. He has been living it up on natural talant, and forgoes the hard work. I hope Pulver pounds the shit out of Bj after.

by TRavis on Apr 13, 2007 10:51 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Drama Queens!!! A fuss over some childish writing on a wall????Come on guys,or BOYS,get a f*ing grip and grow up!!! This used to be my favorite show,they keep this crap up and I will watch the last 10 minutes,if that…

by username on Apr 13, 2007 10:51 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Yeah they better hype up the next episode, cause so far this is turning into a huge disapointment.

With expectations of 155lbs action packed fights it’s apparent that some of these guys made it with shit stand up and absolutely no Jui jitsu. I wish Pulver would just get it over and call out Gabe so his drama reign would be over. No mention this episode on where he’s at weight wise but if he needs an enima, then his weight issue must not be getting any better.

Next week better be alot better, if not, i won’t be making any special attempt to watch this adult version of Romper Room. The only guy i’m really interested in following is Joe Lauzon because he’s calm and collect.

by Jordan on Apr 13, 2007 11:03 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Yea, Nate Diaz going off over a little joke was annoying, but not surprising. His brother looks like he’s ALWAYS having a bad day as well. Angry guys, those Diaz brothers.

That was a nice takedown from Manny though, and that kimura was locked in tight. Good sub.

by Noel on Apr 13, 2007 11:37 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

It seems like Wiman is the only one that has his shit together in that house. I hope he pounds the hell out of everyone en route to a season 5 victory.

by Eric on Apr 13, 2007 12:51 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

damn you guys are calling them cry babies and all you guys are doing is bitching about how you dont like the show… i love this season its hillarious bj’s team is looking bad but they are just getting bad match ups when emerson wiman and maynard get in there penn will get the hammer as for all the drama ya know diaz blew it out of porportion but ya know i hate his brother so i hate him but manny has some skills it was a good show of dominance and bj is a good couch he see’s those subs comming but the dudes in the ring just dont listen… like lobsta bj was yelling look out for the triangle and he diddnt do shit just dropped some fists and this guy bj’s yelling look out for the kimura get on your knees knees but he sat there like he was ok with lookin like a bitch… AND HOW ABOUT THAT HORSE THING I COME FROM A TOWN WHERE THERESD ALWASY BITCHES ON HORSES IVE ALWASY WANTED TO SEE ON EAT SHIT HILLARIOUS

by dazzle on Apr 13, 2007 1:17 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I was not too fond of the show agian this week. I think it was a little better then last week, but I also find myself looking at the clock thinking, man this is going to be a short fight. I like that Diaz kinda started some shit, it kinda made for tv, but honestly Manny took it too far. As for the fight, I wondered about the whole, “I have had 40 fights in 2 years,” compared to the 10-4 record. All in all I hope they start getting this show together, because I really liked the previous shows.

Later
Chris Valentine

by Chris Valentine on Apr 13, 2007 5:24 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Well I can see that I’m in good company here. This season is definitely testing my willingness to watch. I don’t know if it’s the cameras or if most of these guys are actually real life half-wits. I would agree with an earlier poster that Joe Lauzon seems to have it together. Isn’t he the one who wiped out Pulver in about a minute flat last year? I’m sure there’s someone else who isn’t so embarrassing (mostly to themselves) but apparently you have to act the fool to get any air time.

by Dave on Apr 13, 2007 8:13 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Y the hell is everyone hatin this season? i think its a hell of a lot better than last season!!!!!!!

by ibread on Apr 13, 2007 9:56 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Why is everyone hating? Well, i think its been said often, bunch of over the top cartoon characters trying to emulate a BS thug life made far more popular in WWE than than in the UFC.

The show is dull and not everyone wants to watch a bunch of guys tear off their shirts and threaten to throw down for 45 minutes.

Hell, 2 episodes and 2 guys have already cried. Seriously.

Who crys next week?
Who strips and threatens a roommate?
Tune in next week “As The UFC Turns”

Oh, and 2 guys will fight at the end. A real fight. Not just yelling and threatening to fight, but actually fight.

These guys are giving the whole sport a black eye nearly as bad as Mayweather just did for boxing. Unfortunately its gonna take 20 episodes and about 3 censors with carpal tunnel from riding the bleep button for the duration.

Damn, soapbox again….. need to unhook my keyboard for a week and just read the board

by J on Apr 13, 2007 10:15 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

in other words u were more satisfied with previous seasons?

by ibread on Apr 13, 2007 10:20 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I was satisfied with the contestants on previous seasons.

I don’t particularly like these guys. So far i haven’t seen anyone i want to cheer for, to be honest. I haven’t even seen anyone i want to win it all. I have sure seen some guys i would love for BJ to bust up. That would be a fun show. BJ sparing and wiping the mat with Gabe and Matt. One after another, then lighting up Diaz right after for laughing and being a smartass.

I am sure some of the guys they haven’t shown much of are gonna turn out to be likable guys but no one has yet. I mean really, after Manny and Diaz’s little spazfest can you honestly say you want to see them out representing the sport?

by J on Apr 13, 2007 10:31 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I am SO unplugging this keyboard!!

Back to ultimate fight night

by J on Apr 13, 2007 10:33 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

i have no desire to watch big Tim win any fight. I’d like 2 c either Karo P’s cousin or the guy from Team Coutore win.

by ibread on Apr 13, 2007 10:50 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

The only people who have anything thoughtful or intelligent to say keep getting eliminated. The rest are a bunch of thugs and punk-asses (I’m looking at you, Diaz) or cry-babies. They’re almost as bad as that loser on Season 2 (Ithink it was Season 2) who chose to go home to try to salvage his relationship with his girlfriend of 6 months rather than fight in the semi-finals.

SEASON 3 NOAHS BITCH ASS

by STAND AND BANG on Apr 14, 2007 1:14 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

THEY BETTER SO THEY CAN BACK ALL THAT SHIT UP THAT THERE SAYING IN THE RING NAH MEAN

by STAND AND BANG on Apr 14, 2007 1:15 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

This show makes UFC and MMA altogether look bad. Those punks are annoying and to be honest: their fighting sucks as well. I came from a “fucking lightweights – they look like little kids” attitude until I watched the Huerta-Garcia fight. That was definetly the best fight on a not-so-impressive night and I started to believe I was wrong about the lightweights. After 2 episodes of TUF5 thou I’m back to “fucking lightweights – they look and behave like little kids”. Corey Hill is a moron with his barking and I don’t partically care for his manlove to Mr. “I AEM DA COUSIN OF KARO, AIGHT!?”. I don’t fucking care who’s your cousin manny. The only thing that matters is: who are you? And in my book you are a clown.

God, please let this season be over soon and give us Penn-Pulver II.

by YouTapped on Apr 14, 2007 6:21 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

@UFCmania: is there a reason all my recent postings require moderation?

by YouTapped on Apr 14, 2007 6:44 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

@UFCmania: is there a reason all my recent postings require moderation?

I only saw one in moderation. We have some new filters in place to police the trolls — obviously which you are not. Something in the post must have sent up a flag. I’ll check it out. Sorry about that.

by UFCmania on Apr 14, 2007 8:44 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Nah, no problem. I was just wondering if it was the use of “fucking” or “moron” or “manlove” etc. so I could avoid using certain words/phrases in the future.

by YouTapped on Apr 14, 2007 9:07 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

I have had the same thing happen. I just use hyphens in certain spots and it seems to have stopped.

by MoreThanUFC on Apr 14, 2007 9:15 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Pulvers team rules they will keep strong for atleast the next 2 fights for sure.

They are content to not pick the over weight guy as hes stiring up enough crap internally…

There was no doubt in my mind Manny wouldnt submit the army guy, both of Penns guys look like you just took em off the street. Pulver picked all fighters with good out of TUF training. That gets everyone through the first round, but it will slowly be what happens and who trains with who in the House.

I guess you guys couldn’t face another Brit winning so you didn’t invite one!!

by Kick Boxing Kev on Apr 14, 2007 11:10 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Like I said, a bunch of rap brainwashed kids giving mma a bad name. You Tapped, I never heared you talk like that before, lmao. I dont know if its just the way these guys are being portrayed but yeah, there like a bunch of angry kids. Grow up you punks. Diaz, Hill, Manny, and there was another guy, but I dont remember his name(ans dont care too) , were you molested when you were children, do you always act like that? are you retarded, who did these guys pass the athletic commisions cat scans saying they were healthy to fight, I think they have serious brain damage, like bJ said “man up”! you are kids, not tough, or masculine, kids. I also wanted to mention, what kind of slut hears a group of guys hollering come “play with us” and actually goes? These guys should die virgins, or at least be casterated, disappointed with this season, hopefully we wont see much of this weight class till we get some “class” in the mix

by ufcmaniac on Apr 15, 2007 2:09 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

You Tapped, I never heared you talk like that before, lmao.

Haha yea – I lost my cool for a second when I thought that with all the TUF promotion that’s going on at UFC PPV events new fans will be under the impression that all fighters are like those kids. At the PPV events fans usually only see the fighting and not the personality so when they portray those kids with their bad attitude and childish behaviour then some new fans might jump to the conclusion that in the end all fighters are nothing more than some punks. That’s one thing I liked with Pride. The japanese culture of fighting (the bushido code of conduct) requires to excel in mental aspects as well as physical/fighting ones.

The classy and humble guys in the UFC are fighting windmills this way, so I feel sorry for guys like Couture, GSP and CroCop who’ll be percieved the same way as Corey Hill, Manny and Diaz. But enough venting – I just hope some of the new fans will stick around long enough to watch All Access episodes or fighter documentaries and interviews to form a proper opinion about each fighter and realize that only a minority (mostly TUFlers) are retards.

by YouTapped on Apr 15, 2007 3:49 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Y’know what, the TUF show is still better than most shite on tv. I too would like to see more training and fighting, and much less trash talk/cooking and cleaning.

I could’ve sworn Dana White promised us a great fight (the best one of the series). 2 episodes in, where is it? It’s getting harder to believe anything that comes out of that guy’s mouth.

by the Purple Nurpler on Apr 15, 2007 10:51 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

So far the show sucks but at least I have this column to look forward to…

by The Hope on Apr 15, 2007 11:35 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Whats up with karo’s cousin, the guy is psycho. Still not impressed with the show yet, hope it gets better.

by nathan on Apr 15, 2007 11:11 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

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